'Decked Out' and a confession

'Decked Out'

10" x 14" watercolor

 

detail from 'Decked Out'

This painting was a pure joy. It flowed together so smoothly and I got so immersed in the painting that I sometimes lost track of time or anything else that was going on around me.

I sometimes forget how rare it is for this to happen. Every painting, no matter how similar in subject matter, color, or light, is an entirely different creature.

The experience of creating art is never the same from one day to the next.

Sometimes it's a real struggle to get anything down that I'm satisfied with, other times it flows like it's not me who's creating this painting, but someone else who just happens to be using my hands and eyes, someone who's infinitely more talented and expressive than little old me.

But either way, painting feeds my soul and gives me joy, and I look forward to every day I get to sit down and create art. 

Which brings me to my confession.

For a long time I put off the idea that I had 'talent' or a 'gift.' Even writing those words down right now makes me squirm a little. I'm really uncomfortable with admitting that I have talent or that I might be 'good' at something.

But now I've realized that not acknowledging that denies that any talent I do have has come from God. That's something I believe in strongly, that God has given me whatever skills and talents I possess. And that He's also given me the desire to study and practice.

It all goes back to Him. This talent, this skill of putting paint on paper isn't mine. It's His, and He's gifted me with it. To bless the lives of my family and others. I'm still trying to figure out what exactly He wants me to do with it. But I try, every day.

So there's my confession.

I have talent. I have a gift. And it's not mine, it's a gift from God.