"One Year Old'
10" x 10" acrylic on canvas
Here's my sweet middle child again when he was just a year old. I've been diving through older photos lately, searching for fresh material to paint and came across this one. I just can't get over those full cheeks and that awe struck expression. It brought back so many memories of when he was this age and how it felt to hold him warm and cuddly on my lap, his head resting against my shoulder and chubby arms wrapped around my neck. One of the best times of my life. :)
And this portrait was so much fun. Switching from my preferred medium to something else is one sure fire way to beat artist's block for me. Painting with acrylics is a totally different experience than painting with watercolors. It feels more therapeutic to me right now, the buttery feeling of the paint on the canvas is just awesome.
Oh, how I loathe thee.
You sneak up on me when I least expect it.
A spider cutting across the floor right after I've mopped it. You're cruel too, see?
Using all that sneakiness and cruelty, made me a little bit blind to your tricks. I'm not ashamed to admit that it took me longer this time to see you for what you really are.
You were the reason I had a nasty case of artist's block.
You were the whisper in my ear every time I sat down to paint. Telling me that I couldn't do it. That I would only fail, again.
"Why even bother?" you said. "It won't be what you expect it to be. You can't do it. You will fail."
I believed you.
Until one day, I had this thought. Who cares?
So what if I fail. Isn't that part of the game anyway? Failure is to be expected, planned for, maybe even praised. Failure has come to be my greatest teacher. Not the cool, fun teacher who lets you watch movies and turn in your homework late, but the teacher who actually helps you LEARN something.
Failure is nothing to be afraid of Nemesis. Failure is my friend. :)
But Fear? Well, you're just an annoyance. A stumbling block. I'm done with you.
Come back later with your super villain costume on and I just might take you seriously.
But, propably not. :)
So, my good friends, tell me, how do you beat the Fear of failure?
P.S. A quick apology to all those who've sent me emails that I haven't responded to yet. It's not because I don't love and appreciate them, and it's not that I don't plan on answering them, I do. I've just fallen behind on that and I have to ask you to forgive me and be patient with me. I'm getting there, I haven't forgotten you, I promise. And if it's been a while since I've visited your blog I'm sorry about that too, I'm working on it, promise! :) Are we still friends? Pretty please? ;););) (that's me batting my eyes at you)