Like No One Is Watching

My Light

10" x 14" watercolor

Confession: When I'm at home all by myself (which is really not all that often) . . . I crank up my iPod and sing really, really loudly.

Am I any good?

No. Not really.

But is it fun?

Definitely.

Saturday morning I went running. The streets were quiet, no one was rushing to work, and there was this hazy fog that covered everything and made me feel like I was possibly the last runner in the world.

I ran past this tree with low hanging branches and I thought of something I used to do as a kid. We had this big willow tree in our front yard and I would always try to jump and touch the branches that hung down.

Okay, honestly I wasn't just trying to jump and touch them, I *hoped* that if I could just grab one of those branches I'd be able to hold onto it and swing around in that tree. Like a monkey. Or Tarzan.  

When I ran past that tree this last Saturday, and remembered what I did as a kid, I wanted to jump and reach for those branches. Just to see if I could touch them. Just to try and feel like a kid again.

But then I thought. . . What if someone's watching me? What if someone sees a grown woman jump just so she can try to touch some tree branches?? Oh, the embarassment!!

So I ran past that tree without jumping.

I only got a few steps before I realized that I was being stupid. Who cares if someone saw me? Who cares if I look like a big weirdo jumping up and down for no apparent reason?

I turned around, ran for the tree, jumped and touched the branches.  

It felt good. :)

I don't know about you, but sometimes I think I miss out on reaching my full creative potential because I'm too worried about what other people will think of me or my work. And then I miss out on all the joy that I know I can feel when I just follow my heart and paint or write what I want to, the way I want to.

And I know I miss out on opportunities to really grow creatively because I'm stifling all those wonderful possibilities out of fear. The fear of being judged and found wanting.

So from now on, no more closet iPod singing, or tree branch jumping! It's my life, and I'm going to create the way that feels right to me.

Huzzah!!

This portrait is of my oldest boy. I haven't painted a simple portrait of him for a while and I need a new one of him to go on my wall. I have it all planned out where I'm going to put three new portraits of my three sweet boys.

I know that some would say his slightly goofy smile, or the bright sunlight and strong shadows on his face is breaking some portrait rules. But I like it. It feels right to me. It shows my boys' happy personality. His pure heart shines in this.

And really, that's all that matters. :)

Have a great day everyone!

Sketchbook Friday

tiger study

graphite on bristol 8 x 10

I know, it's not a landscape. But I needed to sketch something and this guy taking a swim looked like the perfect subject to me. I've got some thinking and planning to do with my landscape still.

I kept things looser with this drawing. I wanted to be quick and expressive with my pencil marks. Overall I'm pleased with it, although getting those stripes placed correctly was a bit tricky.

Here's something I've learned about drawing that I wished I'd done more of when I first started. Make your marks boldly and confidently. It doesn't matter if you're a little bit off with the placement, chances are that it will 'read' with more power and impact if you don't go lightly.

Happy weekend everyone. :)

WIP Wednesday, and more randomness behind the scenes

      I loved reading the comments from my last post. It was awesome to read all the different things you guys love about the way you create. So many of them were things that I love too, proving once more that blogging is cool and we are very like minded people. At least when it comes to being creative. :)

      Here's my answer: Something that I love about how I paint. . . hmmm. . . I guess I would say that I am confident in my ability to control my medium, watercolor. It took me many years and many, many, many failed paintings to reach the point that I'm at now. And I think I can say in all honesty that I'm proud of that.

colored pencil portrait, work in progress

      This piece is moving along slowly, mostly because I've had a stack of paintings calling out to me to hurry up and finish them already! I'm not finished with the face, but I felt like I needed to have some of the hair laid in so I could get more of a feel for how much I want to push the rest of the face. Truly, this is a work in progress. Those finishing touches that pull it all together are still to come. And yes, I think he might still need an ear.

      And, I've changed the commenting format for this blog. I've been getting some really nasty spam, so I've now limited comments to registered users (meaning that you either have a blogger account or some type of google open ID) Sorry guys. If you're not able to comment anymore and you'd still like to get in touch with me feel free to send me an email at crystal(at)crystalcookart(dot)com. I'd love to talk to you!

       Arrr! Scurvy bilge rat spammers!

      So, Crystal (you may be thinking) . . . what's with the pirate talk?

     It just so happens that I have missed two very important milestones this month. One: September 19 was National Talk Like A Pirate Day. Arrr! Avast me hearties! This saddens me as I was planning on incorporating pirate speak into my blog post for that day. *wipestears* Oh well, there's always next year.
Right? ;)

     And Two: The other day was my one hundredth post! So exciting! I feel like such a blogging expert now! (kidding, of course) Thanks everyone for reading along with me this far and for all your excellent conversation, encouragement and friendships.

      I think it is pretty darn cool that my 100th post coincides very neatly with my portrait giveaway. Just a quick reminder that if you still want to enter for a chance to win just click on the banner above and fill out the form, there's only two days left! Special thanks to everyone who has helped get the word out! I appreciate it so much :)

      See you tomorrow guys, have a great day!

   

Draw, and for the love of lists!

"Draw"

10 x 14 watercolor

"Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything." Wyatt Earp

     I am a list junkie. I love making lists. When I was in college I made all kinds of lists for study schedules, classes I wanted to take, books I was reading, things I wanted to do. You name it and I had a list for it.

     I still do this. I make lists for paintings I want to create, color combinations I want to try, books I want to read, chores I need to get done for the day. I even make lists of 'fun' things for me and my family to do during the summer and holidays. And, I make lists of reasons why I should stop making so many lists. 

     Oh man, I've got a problem with making lists.

     And my son does it too! I saw him making a list one day and was so proud. I didn't realize why until my husband pointed out how he was just like me. A little list maker.

     But I will maintain that having a list is a good thing. It helps you focus on things that otherwise would lose your attention. It gives you something to look back on and see how far you've come. It helps you give priority to the things that are most important to you. I love lists.

     Just the other day I wrote a list of things that bring me joy as a mother. I was feeling very overwhelmed with all my responsibilities and constantly pressed for time. I was not feeling the joy that I knew I could in being a stay at home mom.

     It helped me to realize that my life is sweet and good even though it's also sometimes stressful and challenging. I needed to remember that.

     I'm going to do the same thing with my art work and my writing. I'm going to make a list of what I love about the way that I paint. Not the reasons why I love to paint (we talked about that last week, remember?), but a list of the things I love about how I paint.

     I think it will help me feel better about my work when those nagging doubts creep in.

     So, that's my challenge to you for this Motivational Monday. What do you love about the work you do? What is something about your work you're confident that you're good at? Whether it's painting, drawing, writing or photography. Tell me one thing in a comment. I dare you :)

     And yes, I knew you'd ask this. I will share one thing too. But not today, today it's your turn. You'll get to hear mine tomorrow :) See you then!