Intensity

"Intensity"

10 x 14 watercolor

     Here's my husband, looking pretty handsome in my opinion :). I really enjoyed painting this. It was a challenge because so much of his face was in shadow. I had to be careful with my shadow colors so I didn't end up with dull, muddy skin tones. And I can see a few areas where I was very, very close. Again it was a struggle to just stop! I kept seeing things I thought I could fix, things with the drawing not the paint itself. But of course that would have not helped anything, so I left it as it is. I think it's decent, there are things I could do better next time, but I'm not going to dwell on them. I'm just going to (hopefully) remember it for next time.

     I wanted to paint this because of the lighting of course. I really love it when I get to leave part of the paper white, it feels like an indulgence. Most of all I was drawn to his expression, it's very intense. He is a very kind man, an amazing father, and the best husband. But people who don't know him think he's a bit intimidating. I can't figure it out, but I think part of it has to do with this intense gaze he has. I love it. It's very focused.

     And I just heard my painting "Timeless Remedy" was accepted! I'm excited, it's always nice to get accepted, I'm a little tired of all those rejection letters piling up :) Thanks everyone for all your kind comments about that painting in particular, it really helped.

Finished! And, how do you get unstuck?

"Mesmerized"

10 x 14 watercolor

 
  I finished this painting last night. I kept thinking I wanted to go back in and deepen the color but I decided not too. Because it looked fresh to me and I didn't want to go in and kill it. I think it captured my littlest one pretty good :) Gosh they grow so fast.
     I feel like my painting is growing more since I started blogging. I've gained a lot from this experience and I love to see everything you guys are working on. It's feeding my soul. I'm amazed at your technique and the concepts you have. It's been a lot of fun :)
     Next up for me is a portrait of my husband. I started it last night, it's coming along. I'm also looking for a new animal painting, maybe one of my dogs or a horse again. I'm excited about painting again. I love that feeling. I want to hang on to it. Sometimes I feel like I get stuck with my art, I'm not feeling inspired, and I doubt every little thing about my work. One thing that helps me is to see the work of others. That's why I love blogging so much. But what about you? Do you ever feel uninspired? And what do you do to work yourself out of your slump? Happy weekend everyone, can't wait to see what you'll create next.

Painting With Feeling

"Timeless Remedy"

10 x 14 watercolor

      My husband has been making a list of shows for me  to enter this year. Some of them are national and some are local. He called me yesterday when he was at work to tell me about one that was local he just found out about. The deadline for entries was today and this show had a theme. It was "100 years of healing. . . the evolution of healthcare in northern Utah." And I thought 'Ok, don't have anything that fits that, and don't have time to paint something for it.'  But then I thought maybe I do have time, because you know I love stress ;).

      I've been wanting to paint this image for a while. I took the photo with the intention of painting it someday. It's me holding the hand of my youngest when he was 4 days old. So obviously this painting is very dear to my heart. But what I hoped to capture here was something universal (that's why I kept my face out of it). That intense love you feel when you're around a newborn. Whether the baby is yours or not, there's a powerful feeling around them. How fierce you feel about protecting them and comforting them.  I tried to tie that idea to this theme, thinking of all the nurses who care for newborns and how they must feel being one of the first one's involved in this child's life. I remember, vaguely, seeing one nurse hold onto my youngest's hand while he was still screaming as they were putting him under the heat lamps. She could not stop smiling at him. That touched me. This was my child, but she looked at him with such tenderness. Like he was hers too.   

       I stayed up late last night painting this. I don't know if it will be accepted, but I'm glad I painted it anyway. I'm kind of proud of myself that I painted it in one night. And I like how it turned out, there are some technical things I would do differently next time, but overall I like it. And it was painted with feeling, that's the most important thing.  I'm counting all the good things that came of taking this opportunity to paint this so quickly and branding them in my brain. So when I hear if it was accepted or rejected I will remember those and consider myself accomplished regardless.

Midweek Inspiration, A Question, and Progress

untitled, watercolor 10 x 14

     Making some progress with this painting, it's not exactly where I want it to be, but it's close. And it's coming together pretty quickly and it's a lot of fun :)

      I've been thinking about this blog lately and what I want to do with it, so I thought I would ask you readers a question, or two. What do you like the most about artist blogs? What do you like to see, works in progress or more written content about the creative process and things like that. I am finding that this blog is kind of a record of my own little journey, and I'm not sure if that's of value to anyone else or not. I mean I'm going to keep blogging from my heart, which is usually why my posts are soooo long, but I'd like to know your opinion about this too. Is there something that you do or don't like to see on a blog that you feel like sharing? I'm curious about that. Comments would be much appreciated friends :)

     And here is another quote I found that I love and thought you might like too:

 "You'll do your best if you paint the things around you that connect you emotionally - your world, your children, etc. Start with the things at hand you feel most deeply about. Choose subjects or scenes that get under your skin, things that make you feel something. . . Any subject is valid provided the artist has an emotional reaction to it. You've got to feel it if you are going to paint it successfully.  Don't paint anything that doesn't interest you. You will be bored and your boredom will show in your work. You have to be excited to paint exciting things."

Arne Westerman

     I try to follow that advice, creating with passion that's the key. Who cares what anyone else thinks, you love it then paint it, write it, photograph it! It's your vision don't let anyone else dictate how or what you create. This is one area of your world you are in complete control of.  

     Happy St. Patty's too :)

New Portrait Started and Gallery Showing

untitled watercolor 10 x 14

     Here is the new portrait I've been working on. It's still pretty light and I've spent most of my time on his eyes so far. I just can't get too involved in a portrait if I don't have the eyes in pretty quick. I need to know I've got it. I'm thinking about leaving the background white for this one. I think it might make a nice change. We'll see, I can be pretty undecisive at this stage :)

     I wanted to paint this image because of the lighting of course, and I love that far away, focused on something else gaze he has. I usually prefer portraits that aren't head on looking at you. But sometimes that really works and makes a powerful painting. I'm excited about this one so far, I want to just get it finished right now! Have I mentioned how I'm not all that patient?

     I also forgot to mention that I have paintings in a few galleries right now, so if you're in Utah and feel like taking in some art stop by and see them :)

• The Eccles Art Center, Ogden
• Michael Berry Gallery, Salt Lake City
• Sandy Watercolor Guild, Sandy

     And I got a prospectus in the mail today from the Springville Museum of Art, it's probably the most prestigious art museum in Utah (at least to me :)) and I've entered their shows twice but so far have not made it in (last time they had over 1,000 entries!). But since I'm a glutton for punishment I'm going to enter again this year, and hope that it will be my lucky year, now I've got to think of something spectacular to paint. . . This could be fun.

     So, I leave you with a few questions blogger buddies what do you think about white backgrounds? And have any great ideas for a title to this piece? I think it'd be a lot of fun to hear some suggestions :)

Behind The Scenes

     I was never the kid in school who was the most talented artist. You know, the one who was just  AMAZING and everything they drew or painted was just perfect and they made it look effortless. Not me. But I so wanted to be.

     When my first son was born my husband and I decided I would not go back to work. This was a leap of faith because my husband was still in school and working full time, I was working full time too. Once I quit we would take a significant loss in our income. But it's a decision I have never looked back on. I have felt so strongly from the beginning that I needed to be home with my kids. And there's no where else I'd rather be :) Challenging yes, but joyful too.

     Once my son was sleeping through the night I found myself with a lot of free time on my hands (he was a good little sleeper). My husband had a lot of night classes and was studying and working when he wasn't in class. It was then that I decided to teach myself to be the best artist I could be. I went to every library that was nearby and checked out all the art books that I could. And then I went home and practiced every minute that my son was asleep. I wanted to be an artist so bad. More than anything. I had all these visions in my head for paintings I wanted to do and they never quite turned out how I wanted them too (I still have my own horrific first attempt at a portrait). But I didn't quit, I kept trying. And then gradually I began to see that I was making improvement. Slowly, but I was getting better.

     Now I look back on that and I'm greatful for those awful paintings. Because they taught me so much. And with each one finished I had this strong desire to get back in there and try again. I had faith in myself. I believed. I think somewhere since then I've lost that. But I'm going to try and get it back. I still don't give up, I keep pushing along. I guess in a way that's proof that I do believe in myself. Does this post make any sense at all?

    Anyway, I have a new project started. It's a portrait of my baby, I haven't quite captured him the way I want to yet, so I'm hoping this one does. I'm working out the drawing right now, I should have the first washes on it tomorrow. It's always exciting to start a new project :) I also included a few photos of my palette and the brushes I use, because I think it's interesting to get a little glimpse behind the scenes of other artists (I was really tempted to clean up my palette before I took a picture of it, but I restrained myself, this is how it looks when I'm working). The little Spongebob sticker is one my son gave to me, I have it taped to my drafting table. He stuck Spongebob's hand on Gary, so it looked like he was petting him. They were originally two seperate stickers. He was so proud of his little creation. I taped it there to remind me of a lot of things. His belief in his self, his love for me, his simple joy in making something that wasn't there before. It's funny how when we're little we want to grow up RIGHT NOW, and then when we're a grown up we try to recapture that childlike faith and optimism. I don't know how great I am at teaching my kids what they need to know, but I sure learn a lot from them. 

                                   

                                   

Progress, little by little

"Reunited"

15 x 20 watercolor

     I finished this painting last night. I have literally been working on it for about a year. It was one of those paintings that I couldn't wait to get started on. I loved the light and the way the horses heads were all together trying to reach each other. I loved the contrast between the grey horse and the two appaloosas (wow! spots!) and the dark bay horse on the right. When I started painting it I had a lot of fun, at first. Then I started comparing it to other equine art I had seen and I kept wondering, what makes this painting, the one I did special? I couldn't really answer that.

      Honestly I don't try to be so negative on these blogs of mine, but for some reason every time I type up a post, I always end up questioning myself and comparing myself to others. I know that is not fair or productive and is probably making for some very grim reading. But I think that's one question I'm trying to answer for myself on this whole creative journey of mine. Why do I paint? Why do I feel so compelled to pick up a brush almost every day and spend hours creating something that most likely will have little to no meaning to anyone but me? I was talking about frustrations with my "career" with my husband the other day, trying to figure out how to stop getting so discouraged. He said something that has been running through my head ever since. "If the reason you're painting (or writing) is to be 'successful' you're going to be disappointed a lot of the time. But if you're painting (or writing) because you love it then you should be happy a lot of the time." So, before this post reaches epic proportions I'm going to re-commit myself to paint because I love to. And only work on those things that I really want to, because they inspire the artist in me. Not because I think they will sell better, or because it's what I think a judge would like to see. I'm feeling like my posts are awfully repetitive, and I know I've written something like this at least twice before. So forgive me for being so self indulgent, but maybe sometimes you feel the same way? Maybe we could work on remembering why we want to be creative together? Because we love to, because it's a part of who we are. Regardless if we end up with the commercial success we want to have.

     Anywho, on a lighter note :) In the mail yestereday was my latest issue of the Artist's magazine! Yay! Happiness!! I love it when I get magazines in the mail. This issue is all about portraiture today. There was some inspiring work in there. Some of it literally stunned me it was so beautiful and moving. I found a new artist who is inspiring me lately, his name is Casey Baugh. He is AMAZING! And he's only 25! I looked at his paintings and just couldn't stop! They were stunning. So, if you have an interest in portraiture go check out his site, I promise you will not be disappointed. And my musical inspiration lately is 30 Seconds to Mars. The songs I keep listening to over and over while I paint are 'Kings and Queens' and 'A Beautiful Lie'. And my kids are inspiring me again, my beautiful, beautiful boys. I look at them so often you would think I would be immune to every feature on their face, but no. Yesterday again, I was captivated by my youngest (18 months old), his soft cheeks and bright blue eyes. How the shadows across his face when he looks out the window are a light, light violet. Such a lovely color that I have not yet managed to capture completely.

     Focusing on what inspires me reminds me of all the good things in my life every single day. I am way to prone to being depressed and negative to not take the time to do that. Here's to a happy weekend everyone, and let me know what inspires you!

Finished! And I give the Happy award!

"Here Be Dragons"

15 x 20 watercolor

     Finished! Just barely too. I sent my entry off (actually my husband did) about an hour ago, and now I just have to wait for that dreaded little letter in the mail. I kept thinking as I painted this (especially towards the end) that I was kind of fighting a losing battle. I know the artist jurrying this show and they've rejected me once before. But I decided to go ahead and enter anyway and just hope for the best.

     There are some things that I really like about this painting and others that I wish had turned out better. But what I've learned is that I really need to plan my painting in advance. Not when I have my brush in my hand and the paper's wet. Then it's just too late and you have to hope that whatever you do works out. I planned the face ahead but the background and the book I just kind of . . . didn't. I think I could have done a better job if I had just known what I wanted to happen there, instead of just waiting for it to fall into my head.  But I'm ready to dive into another project right away and try and pound into my head the lessons I learned from this one. :) Now an award!

                                                  

     Roxy from a woman's write gave me the Happy award (I'm not sure if that's what it's called, but that's what I'm calling it)! Yay! She is amazing, so funny, a fantastic writer, and a really great friend! She reached out to me and made me feel so welcome in this bloggy world.  Now I list some things that make me happy and pass the award on to other bloggers who then pass it on to others, making so much happiness!

     Things that make me happy : books (really, didn't know that did ya?) few things make me happier than a great book to read, spending time with my family and friends, sweet baby kisses from my 18 month old, my husband (he's everything), playing games with my boys, chocolate and peanut butter, red vines, autumn, blogging, Indian food (I love chicken coconut kurma and mango lassi's YUM!), The Office, staying at home.

And here are the blogs that make me happy, who I pass this award on to, and if it wouldn't be repetitive I would give it straight back to Roxy, because her blog makes me Happy!

Jenny an amazing, amazing photographer !

Catie and Steph, because their running blog always makes me laugh or smile

Stephanie Greaves, an amazing artist!

Rachel Roushy, a cool blogger, photographer, and lots of other things!

Gary Keimig another amazing artist!

Kimberly, another cool photographer!

Ali Cross, incredibly talented writer and one of the nicest people on the blogosphere !

Please go check out these cool blogs, make some awesome friends, spread the love!

Step Four (almost there!)

"Here Be Dragons" work in progress

15x20 watercolor

     Almost there! And good thing too because this needs to be finished by Monday. I'm not finished with his shirt, or hands, or the book, or the background. . . Yeesh maybe I have more to do than I thought. I always do this, think I'll zip right through a painting and then realize how long it really takes. I'm not going to post until Monday, I hope to get some done tomorrow, and I don't paint on Sundays. I might have to get up extra early on Monday morning. But I think it's coming along. I'm pretty happy with how I have not (as of yet) over worked the paint. I'm still trying to decide if I want to go back into the face, I'm afraid I might royally mess it up if I do and then I will be TICKED!

     It's been fun posting here every day, it's given me an extra incentive to paint more each night. Which is good. I find I really need a deadline to get the most work done. I'm bad at procrastinating :) And just for fun since it's Friday here is a picture of my doggies, beautiful no? Such a regal looking dog, the Giant Schnauzer. Happy weekend!

                               

                                

Step Three (getting closer!)

"Here Be Dragons" work in progress

15x20 watercolor

     It's coming along, and I finally managed to take a decent picture of it! Amazing! I am finished with the face right now, but when I'm totally finished I may go back in and emphasize a little here and there. I still need to work on the hair, it's not quite where I want it to be. I have a hard time with hair, that's one of my weak points. I kept trying to decide if the color was dark enough or bright enough on the face. I'm still not one hundred percent sure about that, but I think it's good for now. When I added the dark color of his shirt, it really brought out the bright colors in his face. I always forget how much depends not only on the color of what you're painting, but also on the surrounding colors. I think the black shirt really makes the face glow a little more.

     Well, now the hardest, most nerve-wracking part is finished. I can breathe now. I get all uptight when I'm doing the face, because obviously if you blow it on the face the rest of it doesn't really matter that much. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do about the background, still thinking about that. Hopefully it will move along a little quicker now. I only have a few more days! And here is a little quote about art that I like, feel free to apply it to whatever form of art you do!

     "To make our present ability approach our aspirations takes ambition, training, a desire to take risks, to explore, to endure failure, and to hope for success.

     You don't have to draw or paint (I'm going to add or photograph, or write)  like someone else to succeed. Just register your feelings and express your perspective." Arne Westerman

    

     He is one of my all time favorite artists! And his style is so different than mine, but if I have ever seen anyone really paint with feeling it's him. WOW! Now go ahead and keep telling yourself this when you're feeling down, I'll try and remind myself to do it too. Until tomorrow friends :)

Step Two

"Here Be Dragons" detail work in progress

15x20 watercolor

     So here is step two. Looks very similar to step one doesn't it? What I'm doing at this point is intensifying the color. I already have my map laid out so I know I have an accurate likeness. Now I can concentrate on the color and hope I don't mess it up. At this point I am being very careful to not lay down too much paint or to mix the wrong colors together and end up with clogged, muddy paper (which is much easier to do than you would think). I start with a light skin tone color, then a shadow color that I mix, it's kind of a purpley grey color. But I think it works beautifully for skin tones in shadow. Then I start laying in different shades of reds and yellows, to make the skin look like it's glowing. That's the goal anyway.

     Watercolor is difficult because it can't be erased, and it can't be painted over. Pretty much whatever you put down is stuck there. Unless you want to scrape it, or wash it off which I don't, because I think it defeats the purpose of what I'm trying to do. Which is a fresh, glowing portrait that is not over worked! One of my biggest pet peeves (and I'm guilty of it too) is when people go over it, and over it, and over it. It just kills the color and it never looks as good as if you get it right the first time. Which is probably why I quit on a lot of paintings, I've reached the point of no return and it just can't get back to it's original fresh glory! I think it's looking  good so far, I'm finished with the color at this point and tomorrow's post will show the facial features (that's my favorite part :)). Thanks for following along on this with me! Especially you non-artist people, I know this is probably boring to you, but I think it's fun to see works in progress, like on those home remodeling shows!

How I Choose What to Paint

"Here Be Dragons" detail, work in progress

watercolor 15 x 20

     I'm going to have a series of posts that show all the steps from first wash to finished piece. This is one I've had sketched out and the paper has been stretched and it's been sitting ready for me to start. I just realized that I have one week to finish this, for the UWS spring show, so I plan to post on it every day to show where I'm at. I will be having a lot of late nights :) I got a call from a local art organization the other day asking if I would come to one of their meetings and demonstrate my process for creating a watercolor portrait, so this is kind of a practice run for that. 

     When I'm ready to start a new painting I look through my favorite photos I've set aside for the specific purpose of painting them one day. When I choose a photo to work from the first thing I consider is the lighting. I am drawn to strong dramatic lighting, preferably outdoors and this photo had that. I also look for an emotional connection. Which is usually either the expression of the subject, interaction with someone, or just engaged in an activity. Then I think of what I'm trying to get across, which usually involves coming up with a title. Here the boy is looking at a book about dragons. He's my first son and I thought of that saying "Here be dragons" they used to put on old maps to mark uncharted territory. And I thought that's how raising a child is for me, uncharted territory, somewhere you've never been before. But full of beauty and adventure. That's the message I'm trying to get across. Sometimes I like to have the message be not so straight forward. I want to give my viewers something to think about, other than a pretty picture to look at. Sometimes, not all the time.

     So here are the steps for this painting so far:

1. Find suitable reference material. Looking for an emotional connection, good lighting and interesting subject.
2. Make an accurate drawing (this is crucial in portraiture, you can be expressive and abstract all you want but if you don't have a likeness, it's not going to be a successfull portrait.)
3. Lay down the first washes, establishing the base of the skin tones and creating a map to follow so I know I have a likeness. I so far have 2 layers of color on this painting. I usually have at least 15 sometimes more. 

     That's how I start a painting. I don't always follow this process, but most of the time I do. And when I do I tend to be more successful. Right now, I'm happy with where this painting is. I think it's going to work out well. Forgive the dark photo, I can't seem to get that right lately.

     And, later I will be handing out some blog awards I've gotten lately! Yay for all the bloggers out there! Comments as always are welcome, I love to hear them :)

Another blog and why I love to sketch

     A few months ago I read a magazine article about starting an art blog, and my sister has a photography blog that I loved so I thought  I would give it a try. Then I started following favorite author blogs and thought how cool it would be to have a blog about my favorite books and writing my first novel. Then I saw that other people were doing the exact same thing! So I just started a writing blog  today, so I could talk about writing without having it take away from my art, and because I wanted to be a part of Sarah's wannabe writer's group. Any follower's of my art blog who are writer's too would love to have you come check out my new blog, comment and be my friends :) And I would love if you stuck around here to see my new paintings and stuff, and let me know what you think.

     Now about sketching. I love sketching in my sketch book, because it is my safe place. No one else needs to see it, it's just for me. I can try new things and if they look horrible I don't have to feel bad about it because no one else will ever see it! A few years ago I left my sketchbook out on the counter and someone came over to my house and they picked it up and started flipping through it. I was kind of shocked, it was like someone reading your journal where you put all those thoughts you never want to have anyone else see. They were making comments and asking questions, some of which were not very uplifting. I kind of had my feelings hurt. I felt like I had to explain myself and I kept saying, "No one ususally looks at that, it's just some stuff I'm trying out." They didn't seem to get it. I left it out because I like to have it handy in case I have a few minutes when my kids are occupied so I can get a quick drawing in, to hone my skills, and really to just have fun. The photo above in my sketchbook is a little horse I drew, that I feel safe showing others (I'm trying to lighten up about that :)). I just recently discovered that if I sketch in colored pencil they don't smear! Another DUH! moment for me. So my sketchbook stays all nice and tidy. I love that! And it forces me to work quickly and be more accurate with my marks, because they don't erase. A good thing, as I tend to sometimes work a piece to death!

     But sketching is good for me because it helps me lighten up. I stress out a lot about certain paintings, if they aren't working and what other people will think about them. If they'll get what I'm trying to say. This is a time where I don't have to feel like that, kind of like a first draft (like how I threw that in there?).

Perspective

"My Solace"

10x14 watercolor

     I was planning on posting about procrastination. I have a lot of major art shows coming up in the next two weeks and I wanted to have something fantastic for them, something that would set my work apart from the other thousand entries. And then yesterday I got news that a friend of my family passed away, leaving his young wife and three little kids behind. I wasn't particularly close to him, but my sister was best friends with his wife, and I as the annoying little sister spent a lot of time tagging along with them. She (his wife) always made me feel welcome and loved and became a friend of my own. My heart aches for her and her family. I couldn't sleep this morning, waking up way before my alarm was set to go off. All I could think of was them and what they must be feeling now, and how I wish I could help them. It's my belief that life doesn't end at death, that families can be together forever. But still there is such pain and loss now. Knowing that when you roll over at night searching for them they won't be there, that you'll never hear their cars squeaky brakes pulling into the driveway again. It's so easy to go through life thinking it will never change, that people will always be around for us to tell them we love them one more time. But that isn't true, things always change. So I've been hugging my family closer to me, trying to imprint in my brain everything I never want to forget about them, trying to live without regrets. Letting them know that they are my life, showing them that I am so greatful that they are mine, and that they are still here.