The Sunny Spot, and a balancing act

'The Sunny Spot'

6 x 6 inches

oil on panel

Click here to purchase

So much of our every day life is just trying to keep everything in balance. Don't you think? Balance with work, family, hobbies, kids activities, school work, church work, yard work, house work. It's so tough to keep it all together. And I don't think any of us really do. Some do it better sure, but no one has it all together, as much as they want us to believe they do through social media posts.

The last few weeks my family has been really sick. My dad had surgery. And my sweet old dog, Chauncy is nearing the end of his life, and so we have to decide when to make that hardest decision that will separate him from us forever.

So my mind. . . it's been everywhere. My heart has felt so heavy. I'm not trying to sound like my life is terrible, because it's not. I feel so blessed to have the life I do. Loved ones that care about me, a warm comfortable home, and plenty of food to eat. But still. . . it's been tough, and I'd be lying if I said otherwise.

During this time of stress and sadness I've let a lot slip. But I've maintained as much as possible two things that help me feel balanced even in stressful situations.

Fitness. And Art.

I think we all have those things that clear our mind and rejuvenate us to tackle the day. And even if it seems selfish to take time to do them, we HAVE to. Otherwise there is nothing left of us to offer anyone else.

At the end of a long week of being a caretaker to many sick people and a dog I finally entered my studio. Turned on the lamp. Laid my brushes out carefully. And I painted. It lasted about 15 minutes. But it felt so good and restored something in my soul I had felt was missing that long week.

Art is so much more than just paint on paper. It is so much more than a profession. It is a balm to my soul. And I think that too often we forget that as we chase after professional goals and personal ones too. It was a good reminder to me. Hopefully it was to you too. When was the last time you got to do what rejuvenates you when you really, really needed it? I'd love to know.

Love,

Crystal

Watching: The Walking Dead

Listening to: Nirvana

Reading: Lizzy and Jane by Katherine Reay

Drinking: water

Snacking on: protein bars (G2G are my fave)

Ten Hard Earned Truths Every Artist Must Learn

"Chica" chihuahua sketchbook study

portrait study after Craig Nelson

The Return of Sketchbook Tuesday and Motivational Monday. . . on a Tuesday. :)

There are some things I've learned on this path towards being an artist that have been on my mind a lot lately. Thought I'd share a few of them with you.

1. Not everyone will love your work. Not everyone will like your work either. In fact, you could say that there is a distinct possibility that somewhere out there someone really kind of. . . hates it. Some people might even be downright mean and hurtful about it. Let the haters hate. But don't you hate. Accept this and move on.

2. But. . . Some people (probably many people) will fall hopelessly, SA-woon, head-over-heels in love with your work. Your work will move them to tears, you work will change their life. Your work will bring beauty and light to others who wouldn't otherwise have a chance to see it or feel it. This is what being an artist is all about. Accept this and move on. But don't let it go to your head.

3. There will be days ahead when you will feel like every particle of talent you may have ever had has left you for good. Gone. Adios. Disapparated faster than Hermione Granger. Some days you will struggle, some paintings simply won't work out. That's okay. It's supposed to be like that. Without some kind of failure we wouldn't constantly be striving for that next great painting, novel, photograph, beaded earrings. Whatever. Accept this and move on.

4. But. . . There will be days ahead when you will create something so breathtakingly beautiful and emotionally moving you will not believe it came from your hand. But it did. Because you have been blessed with talent, dedication, and perseverance. Because you didn't give up when things got hard. 

5. When you first start out you will suck. A lot. Accept this and move on.

6. But. . . This is not a bad thing. Suckage is only the evidence of growth. You are growing, learning, improving day by day. It will get better. You will get better.

7. Artistic success is not about money, or number of sales, or fans, or who you know. No matter what anyone else says. Accept this and move on.

8. Artistis success is about following your heart, creating what matters to you, not whatever is popular, or what others like. If you follow this trail, creating to please others, you will not be happy. Creating will become a chore, a must-do, not a passionate love affair.

9. Being an artist means a lot of time spent by yourself. A lot of time spent in the studio, alone, opening a vein and letting it bleed on the canvas (figuratively speaking of course). Accept this and move on.

10. But this does not mean that you are alone. You have your friends, spouse, kids, parents, siblings, dog, cheering you on and wishing for your success just as much as you do. It means you have friends and connections you've built with like minded souls spread throughout the world who've got your back when you need them. It means that you pray to your Heavenly Father knowing that He is just as concerned about the desires of your heart as you are. He will help you. You are not alone. Not ever. Don't ever forget that. 

That is all. . . for now. :)

Come on, you know you want to, say it with me everyone! HUZZAH!! Go forth and conquer!

If you think you can, you CAN

     This is a picture of a card I found last year when I was browsing through a craft store. I love that little duck, so I grabbed it and read the quote on the front which is one of my favorites. If you can't read it, it says:

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."

Walt Disney

Then I opened it up and on the inside it says:

If you think you can, you can.

     I found this little two dollar card so inspiring that I bought it and set it on my art desk for a long time. Then I started carrying it around in my notebook where I write down ideas for future paintings, or stories and somehow it got lost. I was sad, I looked everywhere for it, but couldn't find it. Those of you who really know me, know that this is not uncommon, I ALWAYS misplace things. ALWAYS.

     Then yesterday, I found it! Yay! So I thought I would share it with you. I think self doubt is one of the biggest problems for artists, we never think we're good enough, or talented enough, or capable, or clever. We have a hard time believing that good things can happen to us and our work. But we're wrong. We are all talented, fabulous, inspired and hard working. We can do this.

     If you think you can, you can.

     Happy Monday everyone. Have a great day :)

Breaking Through, Motivational Monday #2

"A self respecting artist must not fold his hands on the pretext that he is not in the mood." Tchaikovsky     

     Sometimes I just don't feel like painting. Maybe it's because I've spent a good deal of time on a painting that turned out to be a disaster, maybe I've gotten some criticism that wasn't too constructive, or maybe I'm just afraid that I'll ruin the vision I have in my head for my next 'great' painting. I'm afraid that I won't live up to the expectations I have for myself.

      Or, maybe, I'm just plain burned out.

      Ever feel like that?

     I firmly believe that our success as artists comes from putting in the time, from doing the work, and from practicing. It's not all about feeling inspired. It's not all rainbows, glitter and kittens. It's work. It's feeling that satisfaction you can only get when you've worked at something that was hard for you. When you've shown yourself that you can do difficult things and, holy-rusted-metal-Batman, you can do a pretty great job of it too.

     Sometimes we need a break. We need to recharge and focus on other things in our life, and when we do that we see the results in our work. We feel fresh again and that freshness shows in every brushstroke of our paintings.

      But most of the time we just need to keep working and not wait around hoping that inspiration is just going to drop in our laps and all our troubles will be solved. Because I don't know about you, but it doesn't work for me like that, sometimes I wish it would, but it doesn't.

      When I feel stale, blah, like nothing is working out and I wonder why in the heck I thought I could call myself an artist anyway, I start a new painting. Sometimes I have to start about five before I feel that flow coming back, but it always does. And it's always because I went out and found something I wanted to paint and got started.

      Pretty soon the light breaks through the trees, I can tell success is just around the corner and I feel like I can call myself an artist again.

      "You don't get in the mood to create - it's discipline." Twyla Tharp

     So, tell me, what works for you? :)

Behind The Scenes

     I was never the kid in school who was the most talented artist. You know, the one who was just  AMAZING and everything they drew or painted was just perfect and they made it look effortless. Not me. But I so wanted to be.

     When my first son was born my husband and I decided I would not go back to work. This was a leap of faith because my husband was still in school and working full time, I was working full time too. Once I quit we would take a significant loss in our income. But it's a decision I have never looked back on. I have felt so strongly from the beginning that I needed to be home with my kids. And there's no where else I'd rather be :) Challenging yes, but joyful too.

     Once my son was sleeping through the night I found myself with a lot of free time on my hands (he was a good little sleeper). My husband had a lot of night classes and was studying and working when he wasn't in class. It was then that I decided to teach myself to be the best artist I could be. I went to every library that was nearby and checked out all the art books that I could. And then I went home and practiced every minute that my son was asleep. I wanted to be an artist so bad. More than anything. I had all these visions in my head for paintings I wanted to do and they never quite turned out how I wanted them too (I still have my own horrific first attempt at a portrait). But I didn't quit, I kept trying. And then gradually I began to see that I was making improvement. Slowly, but I was getting better.

     Now I look back on that and I'm greatful for those awful paintings. Because they taught me so much. And with each one finished I had this strong desire to get back in there and try again. I had faith in myself. I believed. I think somewhere since then I've lost that. But I'm going to try and get it back. I still don't give up, I keep pushing along. I guess in a way that's proof that I do believe in myself. Does this post make any sense at all?

    Anyway, I have a new project started. It's a portrait of my baby, I haven't quite captured him the way I want to yet, so I'm hoping this one does. I'm working out the drawing right now, I should have the first washes on it tomorrow. It's always exciting to start a new project :) I also included a few photos of my palette and the brushes I use, because I think it's interesting to get a little glimpse behind the scenes of other artists (I was really tempted to clean up my palette before I took a picture of it, but I restrained myself, this is how it looks when I'm working). The little Spongebob sticker is one my son gave to me, I have it taped to my drafting table. He stuck Spongebob's hand on Gary, so it looked like he was petting him. They were originally two seperate stickers. He was so proud of his little creation. I taped it there to remind me of a lot of things. His belief in his self, his love for me, his simple joy in making something that wasn't there before. It's funny how when we're little we want to grow up RIGHT NOW, and then when we're a grown up we try to recapture that childlike faith and optimism. I don't know how great I am at teaching my kids what they need to know, but I sure learn a lot from them.