Learn to Fly

Learn to Fly

6 x 6 oil on panel 

click here to purchase

"What if I fall?" 

"Oh, but my darling. What if you FLY?"

When I started this blog in 2010 I had a one year old, a 5 year old, and an 8 year old. Now I have a 9 year old, an almost 13 year old, and an almost 16 year old. My children are no longer babies. No longer toddlers. No longer needing my help so much, or needing their noses wiped, or wanting to cuddle with me on the couch. There are no more days spent holding little hands to guide their first steps and getting sloppy kisses from spaghetti covered faces. They are growing up, and therefore growing further away from me. As they should. It's part of the plan of life. They're supposed to grow up and live their own life and it's my job to prepare them for that. 

But it's so very hard to live through. The hardest thing I've ever been called to do. 

Now. I recognize this is a little melodramatic. Of course my kids still need me. I still need my mom and I'm 36 years old. Of course I still get kisses (but far fewer, and mostly from the nine year old, bless his heart.) But they are getting ready, someday not too far from this day, to leave our nest. Our beautifully, crazily, happy love filled home. 

And this my friends is breaking my heart. I don't quite know how to navigate this time in my life. How many rules and boundaries are too many? They have to make their own choices don't they? They have to live their own life. Be accountable for choices and decisions they make. I try my best to guide and direct them gently with all the love I have, and whatever small amounts of wisdom I have too. But is it enough? Is it too much? WHERE IS THE DANG MANUAL THAT TELLS YOU HOW TO BE A PARENT TO A 16 YEAR OLD??? 

I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm just trying to love them as hard as possible, so that they know it every single second of their lives. That it might guide them to make the right choices. To be safe. To fly instead of fall. 

So. . . all of that to say that this painting hits me hard on a deep level. Our children learn to fly from us. We prepare them for life outside our home. That is our purpose and calling as parents. And we have to have the faith that when the time comes, they will not fall. But fly. As they were meant to. As we've prepared them to their whole lives. 

It's a leap of faith. And we have to have that faith with them. 

30 paintings in 30 days!

'Rhino's Spot'

Click here to purchase

It has been quite a while since I've done a single painting in a single day for lots of days in a row. I've been so preoccupied with painting the dailies that I have neglected blogging or uploading them (although I am uploading them every night to my Instagram and Facebook, simply because it's so much faster and I'm usually soooo tired by the time I finish painting them at midnight haha)!

It has been incredibly FUN to have a new painting to complete every day. Sometimes I can get caught up in a big painting for MONTHS at a time. Which can result in really cool and impactful work, but can also be stressful. Incredibly stressful. I am enjoying the heck out of this challenge and approach each day with an excitement for painting that I haven't felt in years!

I've decided to paint all of them in oil, simply because it's faster for me and time is very, very short. I am learning a lot each day with each new painting. And it has been a great time of growth for me artistically. I'll try and share one thing I've learned each day. As often as I remember haha.

I'm very behind in blogging about these so I'm just going to start with my favorite one so far, not the first one. This sweet pup (Rhino) belongs to the family that owns the gym I go to. They bring him to the gym with them every morning and he is a huge hit with the gym family. Yesterday he was in just the PERFECT spot of sun and held still long enough for me to get some pics with my phone. We call him the gym mascot and he is the biggest sweetheart of a dog you'll ever meet.

With this painting I realized the importance of painting in your brightest colors first and then working around them. This resulted in the glowing ear, with no mud from mixing white or greys near it! Worked like a charm. I know I've learned this lesson before, but seems like I'm relearning a lot of things this month.

Listening to: Higher Health Radio

Watching: BBC's Sherlock (for the 15th time)

Reading: Love and Gelato

Drinking: Diet Dr. Pepper

Snacking on: Caramel flavored rice cakes

The Sunny Spot, and a balancing act

'The Sunny Spot'

6 x 6 inches

oil on panel

Click here to purchase

So much of our every day life is just trying to keep everything in balance. Don't you think? Balance with work, family, hobbies, kids activities, school work, church work, yard work, house work. It's so tough to keep it all together. And I don't think any of us really do. Some do it better sure, but no one has it all together, as much as they want us to believe they do through social media posts.

The last few weeks my family has been really sick. My dad had surgery. And my sweet old dog, Chauncy is nearing the end of his life, and so we have to decide when to make that hardest decision that will separate him from us forever.

So my mind. . . it's been everywhere. My heart has felt so heavy. I'm not trying to sound like my life is terrible, because it's not. I feel so blessed to have the life I do. Loved ones that care about me, a warm comfortable home, and plenty of food to eat. But still. . . it's been tough, and I'd be lying if I said otherwise.

During this time of stress and sadness I've let a lot slip. But I've maintained as much as possible two things that help me feel balanced even in stressful situations.

Fitness. And Art.

I think we all have those things that clear our mind and rejuvenate us to tackle the day. And even if it seems selfish to take time to do them, we HAVE to. Otherwise there is nothing left of us to offer anyone else.

At the end of a long week of being a caretaker to many sick people and a dog I finally entered my studio. Turned on the lamp. Laid my brushes out carefully. And I painted. It lasted about 15 minutes. But it felt so good and restored something in my soul I had felt was missing that long week.

Art is so much more than just paint on paper. It is so much more than a profession. It is a balm to my soul. And I think that too often we forget that as we chase after professional goals and personal ones too. It was a good reminder to me. Hopefully it was to you too. When was the last time you got to do what rejuvenates you when you really, really needed it? I'd love to know.

Love,

Crystal

Watching: The Walking Dead

Listening to: Nirvana

Reading: Lizzy and Jane by Katherine Reay

Drinking: water

Snacking on: protein bars (G2G are my fave)

Luminous Berries and Art Life Updates

Luminous Berry

5 x 5 watercolor on paper

click here to purchase

For the last several months painting has constantly been on my mind. I dream up ideas for future paintings, my hands itch to hold a brush, and I try to figure out how to get 26 hours out of each day, or require less than 5 hours of sleep at night, so I can get more painting time.

Since the new year came and the holidays are gone for another year (YASSS) I made a promise to myself that I would paint every day. If only for 15 minutes. Well. . . . I haven't kept that promise. Some days I just can't make it to paint. Which IS frustrating. BUT on the positive side I have painted more this month than I did the last six months combined. So I think I'm onto something here.

This painting is the first watercolor daily painting (never mind that it took me about 6 days to finish instead of 1) I've finished in. . . 3 years I think. And I have found a lot of satisfaction in that.

I'm excited to keep on painting, I have SO many ideas sketched out! We'll see how well I do at keeping this blog updated too.

Thanks for following along with my artwork!

Hugs,

Crystal

Tough Choices - A is for Apple, a new painting challenge

'Tough Choices' 

6 x 6 oil on masonite

Not For Sale

For a while now I've wanted to do a series of paintings based on the alphabet and I thought that now would be a great time to do that since I've kind of felt like I needed a new creative challenge. And can I just say how EXCITED I am about this? I love thinking up new subjects or themes based on a letter. 

Last night I laid out all my photos (yes all of them, because I'm awesome and old school like that) and sorted them into piles of paintings I'd like to do based on letters. This is going to be a fun project. I'm excited. Wait. . . I already said that. 

Anyway, here is the first painting in my alphabet series, A is for Apple. This is a painting of my youngest son when he was about two. He simply could not decide on which apple to eat, so he compromised by taking a bite out of all three of them and then leaving them there with little mice sized bites taken out of each one, thus interrupting my still life set up. The cute little stinker. 

The Sky In Her Eyes

'The Sky In Her Eyes'  

6 x 9 inches

watercolor on paper

 

'The brightest light, the light of Italy, the purest sky of Scandinavia in the month of June is only a half-light when one compares it to the light of childhood.' Eugene Ionesco 

I have to confess that I am not very well read on world news and the politics of other countries. I don't know a lot about what life is like for the people that I paint who live so far away from me. I don't know statistics of their countries or interesting facts. I might even be unable to point out this girl's city on a globe, if I'm being completely honest.* 

But that has never been what this project has been about to me. I love children. I love their innocence and wonder. I love wondering who they will grow up to become. I love knowing that somewhere this little person, if they are lucky and I hope and pray that they really are, is loved by their mother just as much as my boys are loved by me. 

So even though I don't know the specifics of where these children are from I still feel like we're connected because I have loved a child with all my heart (more than one :) who is just like them in almost all respects save geographical location. 

This beautiful girl is from Southern India, reference photo generously provided by the amazing Steve Evans (babbasteve on Flickr).

*Because I know that many of these children that I paint live in less than ideal conditions you can click here to read about my way of giving back

Freedom of Innocence

'Freedom of Innocence' 

5 x 7 inches oil on masonite

"When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind." Patrick Rothfuss

Something that always gets my heart when I paint a child is their innocent, but also very knowing expression. It's something that I think most people don't see, at least I know I don't see it until I spend a few hours studying their eyes. And it's something that never fails to amaze me. 

Listening to: Fall Out Boy

Reading: The Name of the Wind, by Patrick Rothfuss

Watching: Gold Rush 

Snacking on: see photo below :) 

Greek Yogurt Brulee. Oh. My. Gosh. This is so yummy. :) Here's the recipe I adapted.

 

Can't Reach - SOLD

'Can't Reach' SOLD

4.5 x 6.5 inches watercolor on paper

Spring always means newborn foals to me. Last year when my husband and I were out driving around we saw this field full of mares and foals.This little girl kept trying to scratch her belly and flanks, but couldn't seem to quite reach. I got a few different shots of her attempt. She was so dang cute, and her baby confirmation is already showing that she will be a looker when she grows up. Tomorrow's painting will show her second attempt. :) 

Flare

'Flare' 

5 x 7 inch oil on masonite

$65 plus $7 US shipping, or $15 International shipping

You’d find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair, people who haven’t red hair don’t know what trouble is – Anne of Green Gables

I realized something today. Part of the reason I like painting with oils is because it's a constant challenge for me. And there's a lot of discovery too, figuring out how to do something that I was having trouble with before. I have to think the whole time, and there's also a lot of uncertainty. . . which is also why I don't like painting with oils. ;)

But the only way to get over that is to keep on painting. Onward! :D

Reference photo by Katlin Lewis. 
 

Wide Eyed Innocence

'Wide Eyed Innocence' 

5" x 7" oil on panel

$65 plus $7 US shipping, or $15 International

I loved this filly's coloring, and of course her blue eyes and long lashes. I really like setting light colored horses against a dark background, I think it creates a lot of drama, even to a static pose like this one. Her body is standing still, but her eyes look very active to me. I love her sweet face. :) 

In other news, I volunteered to help my son's class with an art project for a fundraising auction for their school. Our project is a watercolor painting based on a book (I chose Tolkein's LOTR and the quote "Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars"). So this week I'm going in to help them pour a wet midnight sky, surrounding a figure, in watercolors. It should be fun. :) I'm crossing my fingers that all goes well. I'll post a pic when the painting is done. :)

And I hope you all will too. ;)  Reference photo of her darling Gypsy Vanner filly Elexxa, with thanks, by Elizabeth Ward Sescilla

No More Tears

'No More Tears' 

8" x 10" acrylic on gessoboard

not for sale

Last summer my three year old son (at the time, now he's a mighty four year old) was very sad. I don't remember why, probably because I was being really mean and wouldn't let him have jelly beans for breakfast or something like that. But he had these big round eyes with tears ready to fall over his little cheeks. My heart just broke when I looked at his little vulnerable face. 

So what did I do? I took a picture of course. I remember being so touched by his little sad expression, like his world had just come to an end, and I wanted to remember his face, always. And then I picked him up and snuggled him all better. 

No more tears after that. :) 

So, I ask you. Am I a big meanie for taking a photo of my sad little boy with tear stained cheeks, and then painting it for all the internet world to see? (Say no please! ;) 

This is painting number 4/30 for the 30 paintings in 30 days challenge.

Top 12 of 2012

 

This has kind of become a tradition for my blog. Every year I post the paintings that rank among my favorites. Some for technical reasons, others for an emotional attachment I have to them. This year has been so good to me. It's my first full year as a 'daily painter' and I have been so blessed with some wonderful opportunities (becoming a part of the Daily Painters gallery one of the highlights), new friendships (*waves* hello new friends!), deepening older friendships (*sugary squeezy hugs* for all of you), and a whole lot of blissful painting time and lessons learned.

 

Learning how to use oil paints has also been a highlight for me this year (thank you for that wonderful shipment my dear friend Sandra!) and I plan to spend more time in the new year learning to paint with them. And of course lots more watercolors and some colored pencil drawings too. 2012 has been a great year, and I know that 2013 will be even better for all of us!   Huzzah and cheers for all that's in store!

 

And now in no particular order, some of my very favorite paintings and drawings from this year:

 

'Aqueous' 6 x 6 in watercolor on paper

SOLD

Because glass, water, and colorful shadows are FUN to paint!

 

'All Things New' 5 x 7 in watercolor on Ampersand Aquabord 

$100 plus $7 US shipping

Because this is a portrait of my nephew, and my first successful portrait on aquaboard. His eyes were my favorite part.

 

'Acceptance' 6 x 6 in. watercolor on paper

SOLD

Because her expression speaks to my soul.

'Aurora Borealis' 6 x 6 in oil on panel

$100 plus $7 US shipping

Because this one reminds me of my old dog I used to have. Rest in peace Kiana. :) 

'Faith, Trust, Pixie Dust' 6 x 7 in colored pencil on paper

SOLD

Because I think I caught something magical in her eyes.

 

'She Stood In The Storm' 7 x 9 in watercolor on paper

SOLD

Because I painted what I could not say.

 

'Hidden In Plain Sight' 5 x 7 in watercolor on paper

SOLD

Because I could paint myself for the first time without cringing in shame. 

'Isabelle' 9 x 12 in graphite on paper

Not for sale - my collection

Because I drew mostly from my imagination a favorite character from a favorite book.

 

'Princess' 6 x 6 in oil on panel

SOLD

Because it reminds me of the joy of being a parent.

'Alive' 7 x 9 in. watercolor on paper

SOLD

Because I feel like with this painting I'm an equestrian artist the twelve year old Crystal would be proud of.

'Twilight' 6 x 6 in watercolor on paper

SOLD

Because I love this horse and her owner has become a dear friend, through my art.

'Whispers and Trust'  6 x 6 in watercolor on paper

SOLD

Because of love. :)

 

 

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

Diaphanous - sold

'Diaphanous' sold

5" x 5" watercolor on paper

This is a rose from my mom's garden. She has tons of roses. Like TONS. Of all kinds of varieties. This one is one of her favorites. Or at least, she says that it is. But I suspect for her it's a little like trying to say which child is her favorite. :)

Roses will always remind me of my mom. She's the best. I hope I'm a little bit like the mother she's always been to me.

This was this week's DPW challenge, to paint a rose. And honestly I wasn't planning on painting a rose, but last night felt this restlessness when I sat down to paint. I've been working on a colored pencil drawing that is really coming along well, but did not feel like doing that.

So a rose it was. Anyone else ever get that restless feeling when they sit down to paint? It's like I'm being drawn to paint something but I have no idea what it is, just that it's not whatever is currently in front of me. Weird right? *sigh*

Huzzah. . .

Kitty Windows sold

'Kitty Windows'

6" x 6" watercolor and gouache (but just a smidge)

SOLD

Bright green eyes, saucy orange moustache, long white whiskers, super soft fur, and a cute little pink nose.

I really thought I might have something a little more. . . interesting to say about this painting, but I don't.

Just that cats are cute, and their eyes are SO beautiful and fun to paint.

And really, an orange moustache?! That's pretty awesome right there in and of itself don't you think?

Enough said. :)

Huzzah!!

photo reference by rogue sun media, thank you!

Considering - sold

'Considering' sold

6" x 9.5" watercolor

Earlier this summer we took our boys to the beach for the day. And since we live in Utah, without you know, an ocean or anything, we had to go to a lake. We live really close to the Great Salt Lake, which is not exactly the kind of lake you want to go swimming around in, but is really fun to visit and explore the beaches. 

In this area the water was really shallow, just a couple of inches over the sand, plenty of room for wading and doing other fun kid things. Like squishing your toes in the sand, or collecting little tiny shells, or smooth as glass rocks.

My youngest son was torn between wanting to stay close to me, and wanting to follow his brothers out further into the water. Especially after he had decided to be brave and clomp way out right into that lake when we very first arrived, only to have his sandals sink into the wet sand and get stuck.

He did not like that. Not. At. All. :)

Eventually, after much persuading from Dad, he decided to follow his brothers after all and explore out a little farther with them. But not until after much considering on his part!

Huzzah for being brave little Cook boy!!

This painting is my answer to mine and Carrie's (Carrie Waller click on her name to see her water painting) painting challenge which was, water. :)  

Sliced - sold

'Sliced' sold

2.5" x 3.5" ACEO colored pencil

click here to purchase

Decided to try something a little different this time. A smaller size (holy cow was that tricky!!), a different point of view, and a bit of an edgy feel to this portrait.

I kinda like the results. Although I don't know how often I will do these itty bitty pieces (do you have any idea how difficult it is to draw a face that small?) but it was fun, so I guess that means I will have to try these ACEO's again. One day. :)

This was last week's Daily Paintworks challenge, paint a miniature. And honestly I had no idea how hard it would be when I attempted it, or I probably would not have.

It seems to betray all logic that something so small was so blasted difficult doesn't it?

Yep. I thought so too. Have a good weekend everyone! Huzzah!

reference photo by Kelsey's love fusion on flickr, thank you!

Bella Luna - sold

'Bella Luna'

6" x 6" watercolor - Sold

I love painting Gypsy horses. They are so incredibly beautiful with such kind eyes. And their feathered feet and luxurious manes and tails make them look like a My Little Pony come to life! This little girl is my friend Sue's (Sue raises Gypsy horses in Texas) new foal from this year. And although she's just a baby you can see that she will one day have that long mane and tail and feathered feet. One day I want to own a Gypsy. . . One day. :)

And thanks so much for all the words of wisdom and advice from my last post asking for tips for time management. I know it's common sense: there's never enough time to do everything you need to do, so time must be found for priorities and the rest left to the side. But. . . I was having one of those days where everything was crashing down on me and the weight of responsibility seemed too heavy for me to carry. I guess I needed a shoulder to cry on, and you guys were it.

Last week on a very busy day, I was in the car with my husband and three kiddos. We were on the way home from two back-to-back Tae Kwon Do lessons, and an archery coaching session for my oldest son. I sat in the car, listening with half an ear to the chatter from the boys behind me, feeling so overwhelmed about everything that I still had to do that day (even though it was already nearly ten o'clock at night) that I almost started to cry right there, in front of my kids. Almost like he knew what I was feeling right at that moment my husband reached over and drew my hand into his, locking our fingers together.

Supermom I was not, and I knew it, and I was afraid that it was painfully obvious to my kids too. One of my greatest fears is letting them down, not being what they need me to be.  

And then my oldest son started being silly, and doing impressions of a cowboy, and Madame Maxime from Harry Potter (we've been listening to the Harry Potter audio books in the car) and  suddenly we were all laughing, and then I'm really crying, but it's because I'm laughing so hard instead of feeling sad, and it was one of those moments where you know you'll remember it forever you know? And I felt better, just like that.

Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of laughter, and love, to make the darkness disappear. :)

Now that, my friends, deserves a Huzzah don't you think?? HUZZAH!!

Precocious

'Precocious'

6" x 6" acrylic on masonite panel

$65 plus $7 US or $15 International shipping

One of my mom's favorite stories to tell about me is the time I went to see our new doctor for the first time. I think I was about five years old. I remember sitting on that exam table that seemed so very tall, with my hands under my legs, listening to the paper covering crinkle under my fingers, and the swish of my legs swinging back and forth.

I don't remember much else, but I do remember what the doctor said. Or maybe I just remember my mother telling me about it.

He studied me, then finally he pushed his thick glasses further up his nose and looked at my mom. He took a deep breath then said, "She doesn't say much, but you can tell she's a thinker."

The little girl I painted reminds me of me when I was tiny. Always far away and thinking about something. I had dark hair as a kid too, and big chunky cheeks. :)

Huzzah!!

Watcher

Watcher

5" x 5" watercolor

$45 plus $7 US shipping or $15 Int.

I'm really excited right now about painting close-ups of eyes and faces, of all types. I guess it's something that I've always done, subconsciously focusing on the face and letting everything else sort of just not matter. But now I'm doing it consciously! Heh. :)

When I first saw this guy (who is an Eagle owl in case you were wondering) I was a little overwhelmed at all the details in his feathers, which were even more apparent in the photo when seen from this extreme close up. But once I actually started painting him I realized that it wasn't the feather details I was painting, but the pattern of color and lights and darks. There goes that subconscious mind of mine again making decisions for me. Pushy subconscious brain thinking it knows better than me. Hmph.

In any case, I think it worked out pretty well. :)

Photo reference by Amanda Richard. Thank you!! :)

Puppy Stripes - sold

'Puppy Stripes' sold

6" x 6" watercolor on paper

click here to bid

For the last little while I've really been wanting to paint more faces that have interesting or unusual shadow patterns. And this week's Daily Paintworks challenge is stripes so I thought this was a pretty good fit. :)

I love the very design-y and graphic feel of the shadow stripes across her face contrasted with that very innocent and sweet puppy expression. The whole time I was painting her I kept thinking that this was a very 'serious' portrait, with the dramatic light and dark background, but then I would look at her eyes and her wrinkly forehead and floppy lips and then she didn't seem so serious after all.

I really like that, those contrasts and opposites together in a painting. And she looks so earnest don't you think? So willing to please. Just waiting to hear what you want her to do so she can do. Dogs are pretty much completely awesome. :)

And one last thing before I go, a really great artist friend featured me on her blog the other day. Her name is Heather Torres and I would love it if you could all go and meet her and follow her blog, she's kind of new in the blogiverse and you will like her I promise! :) Thanks for the spotlight Heather!

photo reference by Los Anheles, thank you!