Lost in Thought

Lost in Thought

click here to purchase

You know that quote about art washing the dust out of the soul? I can't remember how it goes, but I absolutely love it. It is so true. I spent this afternoon looking at an art book and I felt so refreshed (Karin Jurick's museum paintings, love it!). Yesterday I spent the day sculpting for my Tumble Creatures line. And every day since September first I have made a whole hearted attempt to paint. It has refreshed my mind, heart, and soul so much. 

It is so easy to get stuck in a rut of daily life, and not appreciate the wonder that it is to be alive. Art helps immensely with that. Don't you think? 

The main thing I learned with this painting was, to paint the hand in as few strokes as possible. I am pretty happy with that hand because I think they are the hardest thing ever to paint. And ears. Oh and mouths. And don't even get me started on teeth. Okay it's all dang hard amiright? 

So Studious

'So Studious' 

16 x 20 inches

oil on gessoboard

private commission

Finished up painting number 2 in my commission series of portraits. I am really happy with his face. I think I captured something special there. But I'm not sure what. . . What does that say about me you think? ;)

I miss daily painting, but still have found it difficult to get much painting done lately. So far, my weekly goal to post once a week has not come to pass. And. . . I'm okay with that. For nearly 4 years I have been diligently posting and painting, mostly to fill this blog. And I feel like it's okay, more than okay, to slow down now. 

Maybe I should have done so sooner. There are more important things in life after all than paint and brushes. I worry that sometimes I get too caught up in the day to day 'have to's that I lose sight of the big picture. 

My children. Growing before my eyes. My littlest is in kindergarten now and it was just a few weeks ago that he clung to me and didn't want me to leave him when I dropped him off in the morning. Now he runs off with a wave and a 'bye mom!' shouted over his shoulder. 

But that's the way it's supposed to be. I'm glad that he's happy and secure enough to know that I'll come back for him. 

But still. The shift from being the center of his little world, to not so much anymore is hard. But I know that this too will pass, and soon I'll be okay with it. After all, I know he'll always be my little boy, my best friend. He whispers it to me every day when we hug goodbye. :) 

I'll post when I can again, but not sure when that will be. Hope all is well with you good blog friends. Sending hugs and cupcakes your way. 

Mood: Contemplative

Listening to: Hurricane Bells

Reading: The Monstrumologist

Watching: World War Z

Snacking on: chips and my mom's homemade salsa

Drinking: ice water

 

Edith

'Edith' 

SOLD 

12 x 16 inches, oil on gessobord

 

First of all let me just say that 12 x 16 inches is MUCH larger than 5 x 7. Yes, I realize that many of you are saying in your very best Severus Snape/Alan Rickman voice: "OB-viously." 

 

 

I knew that, but, knowing and applying one's knowledge are two vastly different things. Her face alone took me several days to paint, and I must say that I'm very happy with how she turned out. 

 

Painting so many small paintings, I've gotten used to painting a face in one sitting. That took me by surprise with this painting at first, but it was also very good for me I think. For all the benefits of daily painting (of which there are many) there is also something (or many things, whatever) to be said for slowing down and taking your time with a painting. 

This is the first in a series of portraits I've been commissioned to paint as part of a corporate installation. Also, this one is the smallest size. O-o. 

 

This will require epic amounts of cookie dough and Supernatural episodes. I'm totally up for this challenge. :) 

 

Huzzah!! 

 

Listening to: Grinnin in Your Face by ZZ Ward

Reading: Nothing :(. Ain't nobody got time for that (right now anyways. Life is hectic these days). 

Snacking on: honey mustard pretzels

Watching: Alphas

Drinking: diet coke

A letter to the artist as a young girl

'Linger' 

5 x 5.75 inches graphite on paper

click here to purchase

A letter to the artist as a young girl,

I thought about you the other day. I pictured you sitting at that old computer desk that you dragged into your room. I remember how you placed it, with much planning and care on your part, so you’d have a clear view of the cherry tree in the backyard, the horse pasture beyond that, and the acres of apple orchards even further beyond that. 

I can see you in my mind with your pans of watercolors spread out in front of you, sketches of horses and ponies littering the floor, along with the odd crumpled up paper that didn’t quite live up to your expectations.

You are an artist, and you have been from the very beginning. And here you sit, painting and drawing away, feeling nothing but the uninhibited joy of a child creating.

With that in mind I have a few things I’d like to tell you. First of all, that I’m proud of you. For your passion for art, your perseverance even when things don’t come easy to you, and your faith in your future that you’re sure is filled with brilliant things.

The second thing I’d like to tell you is this. Don’t give up.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Why would I ever give this up? This wonderful happy-making thing that is art?

I’m afraid I can’t tell you that right now. Some things are better left for you to discover first hand. But know this, there will come a time in your life when things won’t feel this rosy and optimistic. All roads might seem to end up leading to nowhere. You will feel discouraged, frustrated, and maybe even a little hopeless. That dream that you’re holding tight in your heart right now might one day start to look a little tarnished, it might feel impossibly beyond your reach.

That’s why I’m writing you this letter. To tell you that no matter how dark things might look one day, they will get better. But not if you give up. The only way things will get better is if you keep making art with that same passion and love that you had when you were sitting at that beat up old desk under the window in your room. Things will get better if you listen to that voice inside that keeps whispering to you to paint your heart out no matter what anyone else tells you. Especially then.  Don’t ever let the opinion of others stop you from making art. Things will get better if you just don’t give up. I promise.

Now go on back to that desk and paint something pretty. I know you can do it.

Love,

Crystal (your future self, who just so happens to be a professional artist)

Tough Choices - A is for Apple, a new painting challenge

'Tough Choices' 

6 x 6 oil on masonite

Not For Sale

For a while now I've wanted to do a series of paintings based on the alphabet and I thought that now would be a great time to do that since I've kind of felt like I needed a new creative challenge. And can I just say how EXCITED I am about this? I love thinking up new subjects or themes based on a letter. 

Last night I laid out all my photos (yes all of them, because I'm awesome and old school like that) and sorted them into piles of paintings I'd like to do based on letters. This is going to be a fun project. I'm excited. Wait. . . I already said that. 

Anyway, here is the first painting in my alphabet series, A is for Apple. This is a painting of my youngest son when he was about two. He simply could not decide on which apple to eat, so he compromised by taking a bite out of all three of them and then leaving them there with little mice sized bites taken out of each one, thus interrupting my still life set up. The cute little stinker. 

Flicker in the - SOLD

'Flicker in the Dark'  SOLD

5 x 7 oil on masonite

“Sunsets, like childhood, are viewed with wonder not just because they are beautiful but because they are fleeting.”
― Richard Paul Evans

This is another painting I have wanted to do for a very long time. It's based on another photo taken by the wonderful Steve Evans (babasteve on flickr) of a beautiful little girl from Madagascar. I was so taken with her piercing gaze, which to me looks very serious, but also curious, contrasted with the very childlike gesture of her hands close to her mouth. I think she probably has one or more fingers in her mouth because I only counted three fingers and one thumb on her curled up hand on our left. 

Portraits are my very favorite subject to paint, because of the emotional connection I feel while painting them. But. . . they are hard for me. Even if the process itself isn't always hard (but usually it is), the act of trying to bring out human emotion on a little flat piece of wood with a stick with some hairs on it and a couple of tubes of smeary oil color is definitely draining. 

But this time, I really feel like I caught a little of something that I wanted to. A little bit of soul perhaps. I hope it's visible to you guys too. :) 

Refuse To Be Hidden - SOLD

'Refuse To Be Hidden'  SOLD

5 x 7 oil on masonite

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.' -  Marianne Williamson

I often think about the fear that is a part of being a creative person and putting your heartfelt work out into this sometimes cold and cruel world. Maybe because it is one of my own personal demons and something I am constantly battling. 

This beautiful African girl, her bright, intelligent gaze, and the way she's coming out from her hiding place behind this tree, unafraid, really touched me. This is another one of those images that I have wanted to paint so badly for so long, but put off doing it for a long time because of the fear of not doing it justice. 

So I finally told that fear to shut the heck up and painted her anyway. Just because I wanted to. No, that's not entirely true. I felt like I needed to paint her. So I did. And I love it. :)

Reference photo, with thanks, by the awesome Steve Evans.

Freedom of Innocence

'Freedom of Innocence' 

5 x 7 inches oil on masonite

"When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind." Patrick Rothfuss

Something that always gets my heart when I paint a child is their innocent, but also very knowing expression. It's something that I think most people don't see, at least I know I don't see it until I spend a few hours studying their eyes. And it's something that never fails to amaze me. 

Listening to: Fall Out Boy

Reading: The Name of the Wind, by Patrick Rothfuss

Watching: Gold Rush 

Snacking on: see photo below :) 

Greek Yogurt Brulee. Oh. My. Gosh. This is so yummy. :) Here's the recipe I adapted.

 

Bloom of Youth SOLD

'Bloom of Youth'  SOLD

8 x 8 inches oil on masonite

I have wanted to do an oil painting of this little girl ever since I first drew her sketch here. I really love the graceful tilt of her head, which seems such a precocious gesture for one so small. Her full lips and dark eyes caught my attention too. And of course those beautiful flowers in her hair and on her dress. And I have to say that I really like how this painting turned out. :) Reference photo, with thanks, by Ryan Lobo.

I've decided to try and have weekly themes for my paintings. I sort of feel like I jump all over the place depending on what interests me at that given moment, and then also when commissions demand it, and then I feel a little bit lost when it comes time to sit down and paint. Too many ideas can be just as paralyzing as too few in my opinion. So this week, my theme is children's portraits in oils. Here we go with number one. :)

*Sigh* I feel like a huge weight has just been lifted off my shoulders by making that commitment out loud here. It's already decided for me what I'll paint this week so no more indecisiveness (which is code for STRESS in my mind) about what to paint and what medium to use. It's all in the bag. The hard part's done, now the fun, easy part remains (Har har. I jest, painting be hard maties!).

This weekend our family went to a Bird Refuge that is about two minutes away from our house. We go every year and it is one of my favorite trips. Hardly anyone is ever out there, and honestly we don't see very many birds, but it's so peaceful and just fun to be together. Here's a couple of pics featuring our trusty 'Crocodile' (my four year old son's term for the navigator, which sounds like alligator, which he then confused with a crocodile) and our little family's quiet adventure. Happy Monday everyone. :)

 

Logan - private commission SOLD

'Logan'  SOLD - private commission

10 x 14 inches watercolor 

Recently I had the wonderful opportunity to paint this beautiful little girl. Her mom sent me several photos and we both talked about which ones we thought would make the best portrait. We settled on this one of her in a lamb hat. :) She has the most beautiful eyes and lips and such a solemn and sweet expression. Commissions are easy when you have such beautiful subjects. ;) 

I am currently taking commissions, if you're interested click here for details.

In other news I got these babies all gussied up and ready for their prom date. (Er. . . that is, I gessoed some hard board panels that my wonderful husband cut for me so I can paint on them. :)

Huzzah for completed commissions, happy clients, and fresh surfaces to paint on!! And chocolate!! (Because chocolate is important right? ;)

Read Me A Story SOLD

'Read Me A Story'  SOLD

8 x 10 inches oil on gesso board

I have always been an avid reader. Some of my very favorite memories of my childhood involve my mom and me going to bookstores to track down the latest in a series of books I was reading (always something about horses). Or going to a local used book store (my favorite place) and finding old books that I'd never heard of before. My parents always made sure I had lots of reading material and they never, ever complained when I chose to stay indoors reading instead of outside playing on a bright summer day. 

I wanted to make sure my kids grew up with a love of reading too. I remember reading out loud to my oldest son when I was still pregnant with him. And now both of my boys who are old enough to read LOVE reading, and the littlest loves being read to. We listen to audio books in the car wherever we go, they love story time at bedtime (well, the younger two anyway, the oldest prefers his own books now), and after they've fallen asleep at night and I go to check on them it's very common for me to have to take a book, and a flashlight, out of little boy arms that were too sleepy to put them away. 

This is my middle boy, when he was about five (he's eight now), looking through one of his favorite books, "The Hiccupotamus" by Aaron Zenz. 

We read it so many times that he could read it along with me before he even learned how to read. His favorite line, which always resulted in lots of laughter was this one: 

"There was a hippopotamus

who hiccupped quite-a-lotamus. 

And every time he got'emus. . . 

He'd fall upon his bottomus."

Admit it, you lol'd didn't you? Me too. He he. ;)

Dodson - SOLD

'Dodson'  SOLD

10 x 14 inches watercolor on paper

private commission

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”
― W.B. Yeats

This beautiful little boy was a commission that I recently completed. I love his cheeks, full lower lip, and wide brown eyes. :) 

I sometimes think that our senses were never so sharp as when we were brand new to this world and we were not immune to the beauty and wonder of our every day lives. Lately I've been looking through photos of my kids from 2010, when my youngest son was not quite 18 months old. There are so many photos of him caught looking at something that utterly captivates him. I was so taken with his expression that I photographed him a million times, mostly close up zooming in to his face, and now I wonder what it was he was looking at that filled him with so much wonder? Probably something as ordinary as a turquoise sippy cup with the light shining through it. Which to him was not ordinary at all.

Almost a Smile

'Almost a Smile' 

7 x 9 inches

graphite on paper - not for sale

This is a beautiful little girl that lives in my neighborhood. Last fall I started asking some fellow moms I knew to see if there were any willing models nearby. And I had a pretty big response which made me SO happy! Then the holidays came and well, I am just now getting around to working on the photos I took of this darling little girl.

When I ask someone to model for me I give them the option of either me paying them for their time, or giving them a sketch. Her mother chose the sketch. I want my models to know how much I appreciate their time, so I always try to compensate them in some way.

Except for my children and my nieces and nephew who are exempt from this rule. They work for free, and occasionally cupcakes! :)))) Mwa ha ha!!!

With this sketch I wanted the emphasis to clearly be on her eyes, so that's where I kept my darkest values and the most detail too. I am really happy with how it turned out. But let's face it, having such a beautiful model makes my job pretty easy right? Happy weekend everyone!

Breeze SOLD

'Breeze'  SOLD

5 x 7 inches oil on masonite panel

Back to oil painting last night. Don't know how long I'll stay here (I'm a fickle creature like that) since I still have my colored pencil piece to finish, and some watercolors too. But it feels right to me for now. 

Every time I take a break from oil painting I feel a little bit of fear at the idea of starting a new painting. Probably because they're still a step outside my comfort zone. So I thought I'd go with another monochromatic portrait. This time a sepia one. I thought it might enhance that dreamy expression this little girl seemed to have. 

None of my kids used pacifiers (not for lack of trying to persuade them to on my part!) or sucked their thumbs (or fingers??) so this little one with her two fingers in her mouth was very endearing to me. 

And here's a shot of what this painting looks like standing back a bit: 

That's something that I think gets lost when showing your art online (I guess that's a bit obvious though right?). What the painting looks like from a few feet back. And then you get to see my pretty glass bottles too. :) Got to paint those babies some day!

Reference photo by Jay Ryness, thank you!

Make the time to do what you love

Detail from new 5 x 7 colored pencil piece

on Ampersand Pastelbord

Worked on this the other day while waiting for my son at his guitar lesson. In the car. :) 

Some of you seem surprised that I draw in the car. I guess it is a little strange. I'm just weird like that. ;) And something that I can NOT stand is waiting with nothing to do. I hate it. I feel like that's such a time waster. And I feel like time is such a limited resource you know? Of course you do. We live in a busy world with hectic lives.

So I'm going to tell you guys how I do it. And why. First with the how:

I work small. I prefer working small. I don't know why I just do. I'm sure one day I'll get tired of working small, but right now I'm happy where I'm at. Working small, and with just pencils, makes it very easy to take on the go. Above is what I always take when I know I'm going to be sitting in the car for at least ten minutes. An envelope of photos I want to draw, a small box of colored pencils in the colors I think I'll use, a small sketchbook (mine's 6 x 6), and my 5 x 7 work in progress (protected in a clear bag). 

 

And here it is all stacked up. Not too big right? Since I'm usually bringing my four year old's bag of things to do too I stick it in there and we are good to go. And then while littlest Cook is busy playing his Leapster, I get to draw for a few minutes. Works like a charm. 

Now to the why? Because. . . well, see the pic below. :) 

Because I, we, need to make the time to do what we love.  And if that means drawing for ten minutes at a time in the car then so be it. :) Photo courtesy of namaste cafe.

So, how do you make time to do what you love?

Sweet Baby Girl Portrait Commission WIP

Sweet Baby Girl, work in progress

8 x 10 inches, watercolor 

 

This week I've been working on a new portrait commission of this absolutely darling little girl. I'm going to show a few pics of the painting in progress just in case you guys are curious. The above shot is where I'm at right now (that blank line to the left of her is water from a sprinkler, haven't started that yet).

My client said that she really loved my use of vivid color so I'm trying to keep that in mind as I layer the skin tones (no I haven't found a way around that layering yet. Argh). Painting a baby's skin is a very delicate process, you have to be quick and sure about what colors to use and where to use them. The less you layer on a baby the better. Her face is basically done at this point, we'll see if I need to add anything once I finish the background and her body. 

This has been one of the funnest commission's I've ever had. I mean just look at that smile? Don't you just love her? :)

Here are a few earlier pics in progress too: 

the preliminary drawing

A close up of her face, in progress 

It's been a while since I've posted a watercolor WIP so if you guys have any questions ask away and I'll try my best to answer them in the questions. :) 

Listening to: ZZ Ward, Put The Gun Down

Reading: Indigo Spell, by Rachelle Mead

Watching: you guessed it, Supernatural :)

Snacking on: apple slices and peanut butter

Undecided SOLD - Southeast Asian girl drawing

'Undecided'  SOLD

6" x 6" sepia colored pencil on paper

My kids are back in a bunch of lessons (guitar, Tae Kwon Do, Spanish reading) after taking a break during the holidays so I have quite a lot of time to draw while waiting in the car for them. :) Which is where I did most of this drawing. 

What I loved most, and hoped to capture, was her very concerned expression, especially the little wrinkles in her smooth, youthful forehead. Like she was trying to make a very hard decision. I'm also experimenting a little bit with a slight exaggeration of the facial features with my drawings/sketches. I am trying to emphasize those things that stand out the most to me, what makes me want to draw this person in the first place. I think it worked out well here. :) 

Until tomorrow friends! Huzzah for Mondays!!  

Reference photo by Gustavo Jeronimo, thank you! 

Best Pals - SOLD

'Best Pals'  sold 

5" x 7" 

colored pencil on Ampersand Pastelbord

Finally finished. :) Usually when I have a painting that takes me a long time to complete I end up feeling frustrated, and I lose interest. But not this time. This drawing was a joy from beginning to end. A few bumps in the road that caused me a bit of a headache, but overall a complete joy. I really love how it turned out. 

I have a bunch of photos of my son playing with his toys that I think I'll start working on too. All in this beautiful light. I'm excited. 

Technique note: This drawing ate up a LOT of my colored pencils. The sanded surface of the pastelbord is very abrasive and hard on the pencils, I wore probably five of them down to little nubs by the time this was finished. 

But on the positive side, this surface doesn't require much layering. It is a very direct process, which was a sanity saver for me. I have come to realize that I am getting bored with layering paint, I'm an impatient person. ;) I will have to see if I can adapt my watercolor process to get the results I want but avoid all the layering (glazing of color) I typically do.

Have a great weekend everyone. :) See you Monday!

Do Or Do Not

 work in progress 

colored pencil on Ampersand Pastelbord

5" x 7" 

My colored pencils were calling my name the other day. So I hearkened to their siren call and whipped those babies out and started on this new little piece of my son playing. 

I'm hoping that I'm not jinxing myself by posting this WIP because all the other colored pencil pieces on pastelboard I've posted as WIP's remain unfinished. But this one is very close to my heart right now, especially since my little one has been sick lately, so I'm sure I'll finish it.  I will finish this and I can't wait to show you guys. :) 

Which brings me to this: 

  

Wondering about the picture above? That's one of my favorite necklaces that I wear all the time, especially when I'm feeling like I suck at just about everything. Just putting it on makes me feel better, it's my talisman against negativity, and it gives me courage. It empowers me with positive thinking and belief in myself. 

One of my least favorite phrases ever is this, "I can't." 

People ask me how I learned to paint, how I make the time. I tell them you could do it too, if you want it bad enough. And what do they say to me?

"I can't" 

People ask me about why I run, and what the furthest distance is I've gone. I tell them 13.2 miles but if my knees would allow it I'd run 26.2. I tell them you could do it too, if you want it bad enough. And what do they say to me?

"I can't"

People tell me that they want to start selling their work, and entering shows, but they don't know how, or they think they're not good enough, or it's just too hard. They say: 

"I can't" 

Want to know what I can't do?

I can't make a perfect pie crust. 

I can't ever, ever, ever, keep up with the laundry. 

I can't organize my closets and cupboards as well as my sister in law (love you Laura!!)

I can't drive on the freeway without music that's too loud and losing my temper at least once. 

I can't go a day without chocolate. 

I know what you're thinking. "But you just said that you hate the phrase 'I can't' yet here you are going on and on about all the stuff you can't do! Hypocrite!"

Now let me tell you about my 'I can't' list. 

Why can't I do those things? 

Because I don't want to badly enough. 

It is perfectly fine to say 'I can't do' something if you simply don't care all that much about doing it in the first place. 

My mom makes the Best Pie Crust In The Whole World. And I'd be willing to arm wrestle anybody over that title. I don't need to, or want to make pie crust as good as her. Not today anyway. As long as we have clean clothes to wear I'm okay with never keeping up with the laundry. I'd rather be painting, or playing with my kids. And the last three don't really need an explanation, it's enough for me to say I don't want to badly enough. 

Some things keep us from our heart's greatest desires. Some of those are things that are out of our control, like my problematic knees. But most of them come from within us. We put limitations on ourselves, we say we can't do something before we've even made the attempt. We don't want it badly enough, because wanting something that badly would force us to make changes in our lives and get us out of our comfort zones.

The next time you start to reach for something that is just beyond your grasp and seems too hard, too impossible, tell yourself this: 

Do or do not, there is no try. 

Making the attempt = doing. 

Do, make the attempt. Believe that you can. And you will, one day. 

Happy Motivational Monday everybody! :)

You can get one of these cool necklaces too, right here. 

Bloom - SOLD

'Bloom' SOLD

6" x 6" graphite on paper

Sometimes I just really miss drawing when I spend so much time painting. Preparing a drawing for a painting is very different from doing a drawing to stand alone as a work of art. So the best thing to do is get out my pencils and sketchbook and go to town. I thought this girl from India had the most beautiful features I'd ever seen. I ended up exaggerating them a bit unintentionally because I loved them so much. :)

I have the hardest time photographing pencil work. It really makes me wish I had a scanner because while this is close to the original, it's really not as close as I would like. 

I don't plan on taking any time off now that the 30x30 challenge is done. I simply have to paint. And I have really enjoyed blogging more often. I'm shooting for Mon - Fri. Some days may just be works in progress since I would like to work on a large oil painting soon. I just have to get handsome hubby into the garage to cut up some more panels for me. :)

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

Reference photo, with thanks, by Ryan Lobo