Refuse To Be Hidden - SOLD

'Refuse To Be Hidden'  SOLD

5 x 7 oil on masonite

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.' -  Marianne Williamson

I often think about the fear that is a part of being a creative person and putting your heartfelt work out into this sometimes cold and cruel world. Maybe because it is one of my own personal demons and something I am constantly battling. 

This beautiful African girl, her bright, intelligent gaze, and the way she's coming out from her hiding place behind this tree, unafraid, really touched me. This is another one of those images that I have wanted to paint so badly for so long, but put off doing it for a long time because of the fear of not doing it justice. 

So I finally told that fear to shut the heck up and painted her anyway. Just because I wanted to. No, that's not entirely true. I felt like I needed to paint her. So I did. And I love it. :)

Reference photo, with thanks, by the awesome Steve Evans.

Pointed Conversation - SOLD

Pointed Conversation

5" x 7" watercolor

A few years ago I saw this massive Clydesdale at a horse show and just stopped and stared at her for a while. She was dozing while her owner and another person talked and gestured around her. I even saw a toddler in a trike zooming around her feet (!!!). She didn't move a muscle. Truly a gentle giant.

The horse person in me was drawn to her beauty, power, and kind disposition.

The artist in me was drawn to that fantastic sunlight and dramatic light and shadows. Huzzah! 

I've had this photo hanging around for about six years, just waiting for me to paint it. It's from an ancient film camera too. Sometimes I'd pull it out and look at it and want to paint it so much. But I was scared.  

It wasn't a really clear shot, and it was kind of dark. And I wanted to paint it BIG so that ginormous horse would have lots of presence and drama, but wasn't quite sure I'd be able to pull it off. 

Then last week I decided to give it a try as a small piece. I intended to just paint a study of the horse and leave the background white. But then I thought the figures made a nice story and added interest.

After the horse was painted I felt a flash of bravery (or possibly recklessness, depending on the outcome), so I splashed some bright colors around to make some background shapes for the barn and shadows. And really liked the result. :)

Now that I've done this small painting I think I have the courage to paint this baby BIG! Isn't it funny how sometimes fears that we have, usually of failure, have such a powerful effect on what we do or do not do?

Be gone fear!  

Be brave! Huzzah!

One Year Old. . . And Fear, my Arch Nemesis

"One Year Old'

10" x 10" acrylic on canvas

Here's my sweet middle child again when he was just a year old. I've been diving through older photos lately, searching for fresh material to paint and came across this one. I just can't get over those full cheeks and that awe struck expression. It brought back so many memories of when he was this age and how it felt to hold him warm and cuddly on my lap, his head resting against my shoulder and chubby arms wrapped around my neck. One of the best times of my life. :)

And this portrait was so much fun. Switching from my preferred medium to something else is one sure fire way to beat artist's block for me. Painting with acrylics is a totally different experience than painting with watercolors. It feels more therapeutic to me right now, the buttery feeling of the paint on the canvas is just awesome.

Fear.

Oh, how I loathe thee.

You sneak up on me when I least expect it.

A spider cutting across the floor right after I've mopped it. You're cruel too, see?

Using all that sneakiness and cruelty, made me a little bit blind to your tricks. I'm not ashamed to admit that it took me longer this time to see you for what you really are.

You were the reason I had a nasty case of artist's block.

You were the whisper in my ear every time I sat down to paint. Telling me that I couldn't do it. That I would only fail, again.

"Why even bother?" you said. "It won't be what you expect it to be. You can't do it. You will fail."

I believed you.

Until one day, I had this thought. Who cares?

So what if I fail. Isn't that part of the game anyway? Failure is to be expected, planned for, maybe even praised. Failure has come to be my greatest teacher. Not the cool, fun teacher who lets you watch movies and turn in your homework late, but the teacher who actually helps you LEARN something.

 Failure is nothing to be afraid of Nemesis. Failure is my friend. :)

But Fear? Well, you're just an annoyance. A stumbling block. I'm done with you.

Take that!

Come back later with your super villain costume on and I just might take you seriously.

But, propably not. :)

Huzzah!!!!!!!!!

So, my good friends, tell me, how do you beat the Fear of failure?

P.S. A quick apology to all those who've sent me emails that I haven't responded to yet. It's not because I don't love and appreciate them, and it's not that I don't plan on answering them, I do. I've just fallen behind on that and I have to ask you to forgive me and be patient with me. I'm getting there, I haven't forgotten you, I promise. And if it's been a while since I've visited your blog I'm sorry about that too, I'm working on it, promise! :) Are we still friends? Pretty please? ;););) (that's me batting my eyes at you)