Learn to Fly

Learn to Fly

6 x 6 oil on panel 

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"What if I fall?" 

"Oh, but my darling. What if you FLY?"

When I started this blog in 2010 I had a one year old, a 5 year old, and an 8 year old. Now I have a 9 year old, an almost 13 year old, and an almost 16 year old. My children are no longer babies. No longer toddlers. No longer needing my help so much, or needing their noses wiped, or wanting to cuddle with me on the couch. There are no more days spent holding little hands to guide their first steps and getting sloppy kisses from spaghetti covered faces. They are growing up, and therefore growing further away from me. As they should. It's part of the plan of life. They're supposed to grow up and live their own life and it's my job to prepare them for that. 

But it's so very hard to live through. The hardest thing I've ever been called to do. 

Now. I recognize this is a little melodramatic. Of course my kids still need me. I still need my mom and I'm 36 years old. Of course I still get kisses (but far fewer, and mostly from the nine year old, bless his heart.) But they are getting ready, someday not too far from this day, to leave our nest. Our beautifully, crazily, happy love filled home. 

And this my friends is breaking my heart. I don't quite know how to navigate this time in my life. How many rules and boundaries are too many? They have to make their own choices don't they? They have to live their own life. Be accountable for choices and decisions they make. I try my best to guide and direct them gently with all the love I have, and whatever small amounts of wisdom I have too. But is it enough? Is it too much? WHERE IS THE DANG MANUAL THAT TELLS YOU HOW TO BE A PARENT TO A 16 YEAR OLD??? 

I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm just trying to love them as hard as possible, so that they know it every single second of their lives. That it might guide them to make the right choices. To be safe. To fly instead of fall. 

So. . . all of that to say that this painting hits me hard on a deep level. Our children learn to fly from us. We prepare them for life outside our home. That is our purpose and calling as parents. And we have to have the faith that when the time comes, they will not fall. But fly. As they were meant to. As we've prepared them to their whole lives. 

It's a leap of faith. And we have to have that faith with them. 

Without a Care - sold

'Without a Care' - sold

6" x 6" watercolor on paper

When we went to the farm a few months ago I saw this little girl and only managed to get one shot of her, and it was this one. I loved the light in her hair and her messy little braids. She was so darling. I remember watching her mother gently try to smooth her flyaway hair several times and the little girl leaned into her touch every time. It was very sweet.

Sometimes I daydream about what it was like to be small and taken care of by my mother. To not have to worry about anything, knowing that I was safe, and loved. To be completely carefree and just focused on the moment. Now I think I need to call my mom and tell her I love her. :)

Carefree and happy are what I wanted to express in this painting, as part of the Daily Paintworks challenge for this week to express emotion. And I wanted to try and do that without a direct look into the face. I think her far away expression helps a lot.

Now I must get to work on some commissions that need attention. Play time is over, back to work!

Considering - sold

'Considering' sold

6" x 9.5" watercolor

Earlier this summer we took our boys to the beach for the day. And since we live in Utah, without you know, an ocean or anything, we had to go to a lake. We live really close to the Great Salt Lake, which is not exactly the kind of lake you want to go swimming around in, but is really fun to visit and explore the beaches. 

In this area the water was really shallow, just a couple of inches over the sand, plenty of room for wading and doing other fun kid things. Like squishing your toes in the sand, or collecting little tiny shells, or smooth as glass rocks.

My youngest son was torn between wanting to stay close to me, and wanting to follow his brothers out further into the water. Especially after he had decided to be brave and clomp way out right into that lake when we very first arrived, only to have his sandals sink into the wet sand and get stuck.

He did not like that. Not. At. All. :)

Eventually, after much persuading from Dad, he decided to follow his brothers after all and explore out a little farther with them. But not until after much considering on his part!

Huzzah for being brave little Cook boy!!

This painting is my answer to mine and Carrie's (Carrie Waller click on her name to see her water painting) painting challenge which was, water. :)  

Ephemeral

Ephemeral

7" x 9" watercolor

A few weeks ago it was my baby's birthday. He turned three years old. On that day he and I stayed home, just the two of us (now that the older boys are in school all day), and played with all his new toys. And it was the sweetest day I've had in a long time. 

We made a Play-doh lunch and had a Play-doh picnic with his stuffed animals in his new little indoor tent (which was a rather tight fit for me).

We played Spiderman vs. the Green Goblin and Iron Man vs. Dr. Doom (for some reason I was always the villain. He he he). 

We played a real, live version of angry birds, stacking towers of blocks and pigs so we could launch little birds at them and knock 'em down. 

We made birthday cupcakes and licked the beaters. 

We had fun in small and simple things. :)

And later that night, before I tucked him into bed, I held him close and closed my eyes and remembered that three years ago at this exact time I was doing the same thing with a much smaller little boy.

Happy Mother's Day, and the reason

'You are the trip I did not take

You are the pearls I cannot buy,

 You are my blue Italian lake,

You are my piece of foreign sky.'

 — Anne Campbell

Me and my boys, on this day for mothers. :)

I wasn't going to do a post for Mother's Day, I was going to stick to my once a week schedule because I didn't have anything new to post and I know that if you follow my blog you've seen these paintings PLENTY of times, but I changed my mind.

I didn't think it would be right to let this day pass without paying tribute to the three sweet reasons why I paint. If I had not become a mother I don't think I ever would have had an interest in painting portraits. I, like most parents, had the strongest desire to remember my children in every stage of their life, to acurately and tenderly capture them. I  just choose to do it in paint.

They say that if you want to do your best work, you should paint the things you love. And I love nothing as much as I love these three. *

They are my reason. My three little muses. There really wouldn't be a Crystal Cook Art blog without them. :)

Happy Mother's Day to all you mother's out there, past, present and future. I hope you had a good one.  

*and handsome hubby of course.

Merry Christmas

'Prince of Peace I, Joseph's embrace'

10 x 14 watercolor

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you!

I've wanted to paint the baby Jesus for a long time, but have felt so intimidated and lacking in my skills to actually attempt it until now. And still, I think it's been a very humbling experience to try and paint my Savior.

But this is my attempt and for my first try I think it captured the feeling I was going for pretty well.

I've often wondered about Joseph, Mary's husband, and his relationship with baby Jesus. What did he feel when he first saw Him or held Him? What was it like to raise Him, knowing what His future held?

Watching my own husband raise our children has been an incredible experience. To see his tenderness and love for them, his complete and total devotion and concern for them. To see his joy in their success and his sorrow in their pain. It's drawn us closer and has increased my love for him in a way that nothing else could. It's helped me appreciate the role of a father in the life of their child.

I think that Joseph had that same experience with the Christ child. But on an even grander scale. For he knew the great price that little baby would one day choose to pay. For us.

I've tried to capture here a little bit of that tenderness and love that Joseph surely felt for Him. And there's Mary's hand reaching to touch her baby, always there, always loving Him. I've titled this 'Prince of Peace-I' because it's the first in a series I want to do of my Savior, from his birth and throughout his mortal life.

I wish all of you the best now and always, whether or not you celebrate Christmas. Thank you so much for being my friends and for always encouraging me. :):):)

"The Christmas season is wonderful in many ways. It is a season of charitable acts of kindness and brotherly love. It is a season of being more reflective about our own lives and about the many blessings that are ours. It is a season of forgiving and being forgiven. It is a season to enjoy the music and lights, parties and presents. But the glitter of the season should never dim our sight and prevent us from truly seeing the Prince of Peace in His majesty." Deiter F. Uchtdorf