Always Striving - sold

'Always Striving' - Lauralee

6" x 6" watercolor - sold

When I first started painting portraits a lot of my painting time was spent thinking. What colors to use, how much water should be on the paper and on my brush, what shape did I see, etc. etc.

It was exhausting. Painting then wasn't really a stress reliever, but a stress inducer. Now painting a portrait is very stress relieving, because I don't have to think as much. I've painted faces so many times that it seems almost instinctual for me. Sometimes I think that if I closed my eyes my hand would still know where to place my brush.

Or maybe it's just that I've stopped noticing how hard I'm actually thinking while I'm painting. I've grown accustomed to it, it's just part of the process. 

Maybe it's like learning to drive a car that way. In the beginning all you can think about is all the rules you need to follow and all the steps it takes to actually make the car go: turn key in ignition, check rear view mirror, put car in reverse, don't hit the car behind you, check rear view mirror, place hands at ten and two on the steering wheel, step on the gas just a little, check rear view mirror, don't hit the car behind you, step on the gas, DON'T HIT THE CAR BEHIND YOU, etc. etc.

Stress inducing right? 

Once you learn how to drive it's actually kind of pleasant to go for a ride in the car, driving around the borders of glassy lakes and fields of green grass full of fat and glossy animals. You are so used to following the rules that you've stopped having to think about it so much and you can just sit back and enjoy the ride.

But sometimes we feel so safe in our routines that we stop reaching, striving, growing. We're comfortable where we're at and trying something new, learning a new set of rules to follow, sounds about as fun as a double root canal with no anesthetic.

But still. . . that feeling of stepping outside of what's comfortable is exactly what we need sometimes. Striving for new levels of growth is the only thing that will compel us to create our finest work.

 It's in us, just waiting to be let out, but we won't be alert to what it is, won't be able to hear its whisper if we've stopped worrying about hitting the car behind us.

Huzzah!!

Felt like it was about time for another Motivational Monday post, albeit on a Thursday. :)

Trust SOLD

'Trust' SOLD

5" x 7" gouache on aquabord

click here to bid

Synonyms for trust: confidence, hope, faith, belief, conviction, expectation, dependence, reliance.

Definition of trust: 1. assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something 2. one in which confidence is placed 3. hope for the future

Every time I lock eyes with my dog I see this trust there that I don't see with anyone else. Her trust is absolute, with a very childlike faith. She believes that I will always be there for her, that I will do my best by her. And when I see her watching me with those soulful eyes, or feel her soft muzzle rest on my feet while I paint, I think of how lucky I am to have someone who believes in me so much with a faith that is never failing.

Trust is a powerful thing.  

It's something every artist must have. Not the trust of someone else in what you can do, or who you are, like my sweet dog, but trust in yourself. The belief that what you are doing, whatever you're doing, matters. That it will have an impact with someone. That it will bring you whatever it is you're looking for that made you want to become an artist in the first place.

That you can succeed. However it may be that you define that word for yourself.

That's where true confidence begins. Inside you, not from the approval, or acclaim of anyone else. It all begins with you.

Huzzah. :)

Until Tuesday my friends.

Masquerade (SOLD) and Three Things That Have Made Me A Better Artist

Masquerade SOLD

4" x 10" watercolor

Lately I've been thinking about what has helped me grow the most as an artist and I've narrowed it down to three simple things.

1. I have always kept a sketchbook. This is by far what has helped me the most. I remember when I first started getting serious about art again how frustrated I was with how ugly my first sketches and paintings were and then feeling amazed when I looked back and saw how much my skills grew simply by drawing a lot. Maintaining your artist's eye is exactly like exercise, if you don't use it you lose it. 

2. I have a superhuman power to be able to face rejection and failure over and over again (followed by weeping and cupcake eating) and then pick myself up and try again with a FIERCE resolution to learn from my failures and overcome them.

This is crucial to any artist's success.

You have to believe in yourself and what you can do SO much that it won't matter to you what anyone else thinks about you or your work. Let them reject you from their show or make snide comments about your excessive use of pink but don't let them see it get to you. Learn from the criticism what you can, then smile and return to your easel with your head held high and a renewed determination to try again.

Let your failures turn into a driving force to improve and not be defeated.

3. I always have and ever will absolutely love to paint and create. It's who I am. Without this love, this passion (or obsession some might say) the first two simply don't matter. This is why we are artists.

Huzzah! :)))

(I feel like I'm repeating myself because I know I've said something along these lines lots of times before, but I've been thinking about the upcoming portrait class I'm teaching and what I want to tell the students and these three things came to my mind and would not leave. :)

(And yes. . . that's me in the mask)

Daily Escape SOLD

'Daily Escape' SOLD

6" x 6" watercolor

click here to bid

Almost two years ago I read a book that changed the way I thought about a lot of things. It was "Shiver" by Maggie Stiefvater (the book in my painting above). I fell in love with the story of Sam and Grace and couldn't stop thinking about it.

A few days later I was looking Maggie up online. I love to read about the lives of authors I admire, how they started writing, their inspiration and influences, their path towards publication, and it was then that I found out that Maggie and I are the same age.

This kind of stunned me for a couple of reasons: 1. Her writing was so beautiful and poetic it amazed me that someone so young (ahem, that's right, I said young, 28 is young right?) had written something so powerful. And 2.  She had written a book that I LOVED and was published at MY age! If she could do it, maybe I could too.

After a little more online stalkage research I found out that Maggie also was a mother to two young children, and an amazing colored pencil artist to boot! This seemed strangely coincidental to me.

Now I'm not one who believes in 'signs' but I do believe that things happen for a reason, and that at certain times in our life God puts people or ideas there that we need at that exact time. 

I started taking my writing more seriously after that, giving myself permission to believe that I could be a writer.

I've since written two novels and am now working on my third. I'm not published yet, but I believe that if I work hard enough one day I will be.

This painting was inspired by one Maggie had done (click here to see it). That's one of my own wolf sketches that I painted to look like a sketch, and that's apple cider in my mug instead of tea because I love cinnamon, apples, and sugar. :) Lots and lots of sugar.

Until next week my friends! Huzzah!

Ten Hard Earned Truths Every Artist Must Learn

"Chica" chihuahua sketchbook study

portrait study after Craig Nelson

The Return of Sketchbook Tuesday and Motivational Monday. . . on a Tuesday. :)

There are some things I've learned on this path towards being an artist that have been on my mind a lot lately. Thought I'd share a few of them with you.

1. Not everyone will love your work. Not everyone will like your work either. In fact, you could say that there is a distinct possibility that somewhere out there someone really kind of. . . hates it. Some people might even be downright mean and hurtful about it. Let the haters hate. But don't you hate. Accept this and move on.

2. But. . . Some people (probably many people) will fall hopelessly, SA-woon, head-over-heels in love with your work. Your work will move them to tears, you work will change their life. Your work will bring beauty and light to others who wouldn't otherwise have a chance to see it or feel it. This is what being an artist is all about. Accept this and move on. But don't let it go to your head.

3. There will be days ahead when you will feel like every particle of talent you may have ever had has left you for good. Gone. Adios. Disapparated faster than Hermione Granger. Some days you will struggle, some paintings simply won't work out. That's okay. It's supposed to be like that. Without some kind of failure we wouldn't constantly be striving for that next great painting, novel, photograph, beaded earrings. Whatever. Accept this and move on.

4. But. . . There will be days ahead when you will create something so breathtakingly beautiful and emotionally moving you will not believe it came from your hand. But it did. Because you have been blessed with talent, dedication, and perseverance. Because you didn't give up when things got hard. 

5. When you first start out you will suck. A lot. Accept this and move on.

6. But. . . This is not a bad thing. Suckage is only the evidence of growth. You are growing, learning, improving day by day. It will get better. You will get better.

7. Artistic success is not about money, or number of sales, or fans, or who you know. No matter what anyone else says. Accept this and move on.

8. Artistis success is about following your heart, creating what matters to you, not whatever is popular, or what others like. If you follow this trail, creating to please others, you will not be happy. Creating will become a chore, a must-do, not a passionate love affair.

9. Being an artist means a lot of time spent by yourself. A lot of time spent in the studio, alone, opening a vein and letting it bleed on the canvas (figuratively speaking of course). Accept this and move on.

10. But this does not mean that you are alone. You have your friends, spouse, kids, parents, siblings, dog, cheering you on and wishing for your success just as much as you do. It means you have friends and connections you've built with like minded souls spread throughout the world who've got your back when you need them. It means that you pray to your Heavenly Father knowing that He is just as concerned about the desires of your heart as you are. He will help you. You are not alone. Not ever. Don't ever forget that. 

That is all. . . for now. :)

Come on, you know you want to, say it with me everyone! HUZZAH!! Go forth and conquer!

Diminutive, and the benefits of working in more than one medium

Diminutive

8" x 8" acrylic on canvas panel

click here to bid 

When I was little my parents got me a pony that I just loved. But she, on the other hand, was not too fond of me when we first met. She was very shy and wouldn't let me get too close to her. So I did what any rational ten year old girl would do: I stuffed my pockets full of apple slices and headed out to the pasture to make friends with her.

It took a few days of patiently following after her, and watching her prance away from me, but eventually she let me get closer and closer to her, and soon she was eating the apples out of my hand and following me around.

This painting is not of my childhood pony. The pony in 'Diminutive' belongs to my Facebook friend, Alpha Farm Horses, and when I saw the photo I based this painting on it reminded me so much of my own pony that I had to ask my friend if I could paint her. I can almost feel her warm breath in my palm and the sticky sweet apple slices in my pocket again. Good times. :)

This painting was actually my second attempt. The first painting was a smaller size and MUCH brighter in color. So much in fact that when I finished painting it I stepped back, tilted my head and said to myself:

"Dude. I just painted a My Little Pony."

Pony in Technicolor was not the look I was after. But, being annoyingly persistent, I painted it again, a larger size this time, and really liked the results.

This year I've kind of felt like several different artists crammed into one person. I paint in watercolor, then switch to colored pencil, then back to watercolor, then switch to acrylics, then back to watercolor. . . You get the picture.

Even though sometimes this has made me feel a little, um. . . crazy, it has been really great for me as an artist. Because it requires me to think differently with every medium. Color mixing with acrylics is so much more direct, I can mix brighter colors right off the bat (remember Pony in Technicolor?), and it satisfies that part of me that wants to paint looser and more impressionistic-like.

So, when I go back to painting with watercolors I bring everything that I've learned with acrylics and try to apply it in some way. Which results in more growth, and an appreciation for the familiarity I've gained with watercolors after years and years of work.

And, switching back and forth, always trying something new, is GREAT for keeping artist's block at bay. At least it has been for me, so far. I'll try not to jinx it. :)

How about you guys? Anyone else seen the benefits of working with more than one medium?

Until next week my friends! Huzzah!

 

Value Study SOLD and Painting Stats

'Shiver' value study 7" x 9" gouache  SOLD

photo courtesy of Jenny Martinez Photography

my homage to Maggie Stiefvater's novel 'Shiver' one of my favorites :)

Number of acrylic paintings attempted within the last week: 5

Painting attempt number 1: marginally successful (still a work in progress)

Painting attempt numbers 2-4: epic fail (in other words, too hideous to post)

Painting attempt number 5: successful (early work in progress, too early too post, not sure you'd see anything in it that resembles art yet)

Artist state of mind after 5 acrylic attempts at artistic genius (or at least something that's pretty. Shallow much? Nah. Not me. ;) : borderline terminally frustrated

Number of possible solutions to this problem: four 3 (stated as follows)

1. Quit  Not an option

2. Try again. Think of a different strategy. Baby steps. No rushing allowed

3. Start a new watercolor painting with GORGEOUS-knock-your-socks-off-sunlight

4. Join in on the Daily Paintworks Challenge fun and start yet another painting for their value study challenge.

Solutions attempted: numbers 2-4

Artist state of mind after implemented solutions: tentatively optimistic

Until next week my friends! Huzzah!

What I'm listening to: October by Broken Bells (because it has rained for almost a solid week (week?! I mean month. . . or two) here in Utah which may or may not have contributed to my artistic state of mind in the beginning of these stats)

Landscape! Work in Progress

the promised landscape poll result painting

10" x 14" watercolor (detail)

Finally, here is the landscape that won the 'what should I paint next?' poll a few months ago. Still a work in progress at this point, but coming along.

I've only ever painted one other landscape and it was a big, huge, ugly disaster. So I approached this one with more than a little fear.

But, once I started painting, the fear left and I realized that it's not the subject that was scary, but the idea in my heart that I would fail. Again.

It reminded me that it doesn't really matter what your subject is, a portrait, flower, horse, or even a landscape, what matters is how you see your subject.

Harley Brown said, "I don't know the first thing about a horse's hind end, but I can draw it. A cowboy, or an artist, or anyone, can look at my drawing and say, 'That Harley really knows his horses!'

I don't know horses. I just know how to observe a horse.'"

The man is truly a genius. :)

This is what I tell myself when I'm trying to think myself out of the fear of failure at the easel:

All it takes to remove the fear when you approach your next work is your ability to observe. You are an artist! You know how to observe! You've done it millions of times.

Stop overthinking it.

Stop worrying about that barn and field and just paint what you see. It's really just a rectangle and some abstract shapes.

You can paint that. Because you are an ARTIST.

Now, dear friends, you must tell me. . .

Am I the only one that gives themselves motivational pep talks?

Sure hope not.

Sketchbook and Motivational Monday

Here's the  rough sketch for my landscape.Although I think I may move the barn to the side a little bit. It kind of looks dead center when I see it like this. Oh, and the photo for this sketch is posted up on my Facebook fan page if you want to check it out.

I've got to say that I'm getting excited here. But I think I need to stop with the planning already and just paint it! So, that's what I'll be doing for the next few days. :) Wish me luck.

Now, onto Motivational Monday.

Lately I've been asked by a couple of different people how I get so much painting done. And I think it really comes down to something I learned when I first started writing.

There's so much about the act of being a writer that's comparable to the life of an artist that I find myself looking to both of those sources, successful writers and artists, for motivation when I feel lacking in that area.

Here it is.

Three big words of wisdom that changed my life.

Are you ready?

Here we go.

B-I-C.

Butt In Chair. Of course if you stand while you paint then maybe you'll want to say Feet On Floor or something else that's a little more clever than that. ;)

It's really that simple. You want to paint? You want to be an artist? Then you have to show up for the job. There's no other way to create a body of work than to sit your butt in that chair and paint away.

Sometimes you might not feel like it, sometimes you might want to do anything other than sit down and paint, but you do it anyway. Because you WANT to be an artist more than you want to be anything else. And you know that by showing up and putting in the time you will succeed.

Tough love baby. That's the name of the game. Being an artist isn't all rainbows, glitter, and kittens, although it is that a lot of the time, and it should be that a lot of the time or else why bother?

I guess that my point is that simply by showing up, sitting your B-I-C and painting is usually all you need to start feeling the joy of painting that made you want to pick up your brushes in the first place. You can't feel that joy, that rush of creating, unless you first start. And you can't start unless you first sit your

B-I-C.

Wash and repeat, everyday until it sticks.

Paint on friends. See you Wednesday!

Motivational Monday, Never Give Up

I ran my first half marathon on Saturday. That's 13 miles! And most of it was uphill! Oh, it was a good challenge.

There I am on the left side, almost finished!! Special thanks to Neon Trees for seeing me through to the end! ;)

I think I should get extra points for sharing this picture because not only am I without makeup and my hair is yucky, I'm also covered in sweat. Blegh. But there's a hot guy standing right next to me, which I think should make up for that. Hands off ladies, he's mine :) 

      I love to run. I'm not fast. Like not fast at all. I average about 10 minute miles, sometimes if I'm running a shorter distance (anything 6 miles or less) I can hit 8 or 9 minute miles. But what I do have is a lot of endurance. It's pretty rare for me to feel like I have to stop and walk during a run, or to feel like I just can't run another step. That's not to say that it's easy, it's still challenging. Sometimes when it's a really hard run, with lots of speed work or hills I really want to stop, my legs are begging me to stop, but I never do.

      Why? Because to me that's a kind of failure. It means I quit. That I wasn't strong enough. That I couldn't stand up to the challenge. Am I reading too much into this? Maybe, but it works for me. When I finish a run that's really hard (like on Saturday) I believe in myself a little more. I know that I can do things that seem out of reach. I know that I can accomplish my goals or dreams if I just don't quit. Even when it's hard.

      Being an artist isn't easy. You work hard, you pour your heart and soul into what you create, you try things that don't work out. But you never quit. You keep trying. You might take breaks to recharge, or go in a different direction but you. never. quit.

      On Saturday I saw a lot of runners stop to walk. And where did they stop to walk? At hills, when it was the hardest. (Now I know that some of them probably had legitimate reasons for walking, I'm not condeming them at all or trying to act superior. This is just my own belief for myself and how I connect it with being an artist.) But that's the time when you MUST keep going. When things are the hardest. That's when you find out what you're really made of, that's when you know how bad you really want to succeed. That's when you know that you have it in you to get where you want to be, because no matter how long it takes you to get there, or how far away it seems right now, you can do it. As long as you just don't quit.

      I believe in you. 

      So tell me fellow bloggers, what motivates you to keep going when the easy thing to do would be to just quit? 

     

Feeling Inspired

"Self Portrait of My Soul"

10 x 14 gouache

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about goals with my artwork and my life right now in general.  I read a book about a month ago that I loved, "Shiver" by Maggie Stiefvater, and I've been following her blog and she has some awesome posts about goals and achieving them. So go check it out at m-stiefvater.livejournal.com, look up "butt kicking", if you are a creative type person it could change your life seriously! Also I found artist Laura Hardie at portraitartistsblog.blogspot.com who does amazing work with colored pencils inspiring me to pick mine up again and take a break from watercolors (only temporary).  And photographybyjennymartinez.blogspot.com this woman is an amazing photographer, she captures the moment truly and her portraits just blow me away, go see for yourself.  And music of course, I just found a great song "Monsters" by Hurricane Bells that I am loving and of course Muse because I love them and "Uprising" is one of my favorite songs.  Overall feeling like I'm getting inspiration from everywhere lately and am loving it!  So what has this flood of inspiration produced you ask? I am working on a colored pencil portrait that is going well, I am happy to say still to early to post as I only have one eye and side of the face done, but soon my friends soon. And I have decided (feel free to remind me of this later) that I don't care what other people say about my work, or what juror wants to let me into their show.  I just don't, I am doing this because I love it and I believe that good things will come of it in my life.  Maybe not right away, but someday. I know that because I will not give up, I will keep creating no matter what because ultimately I have to it's who I am. That being said I just got news yesterday that my painting was accepted to the Eccles Art Museum's Black & White statewide competition, I entered two pieces they wanted one. Yes that is me, behind one of my kids when they were a few months old. But I told myself before I opened the letter that it didn't matter what they thought, if I got in or I didn't, because I loved those paintings and I loved creating them. Just checked that off my goal list, not that I got accepted, but that I tried and entered the show anyway.