Filigree - Self Portrait

'Filigree' 

5 x 7 inches, oil on panel

I'm part of a small group of artists that have banded together as a sort of peer mentoring group. We talk about our goals, our vision for our work, share business ideas, and challenge each other. It's full of awesomeness. These women are incredible and I'm so honored to be part of their group. :) 

So we had a painting challenge. It was to paint a self portrait that was a true reflection of you. I kind of suck at that. I've painted myself before, and every time it has been a very uncomfortable experience for me. I don't like looking at myself. I hate drawing attention to myself. In a crowd or group of people I prefer to hide, unseen and unnoticed. 

And a self portrait is basically the opposite of all of those things. It's all about ME. I mean, there's really nowhere else to look. Unless you like grey backgrounds, and if you do then. . . awesome.You've come to the right place. But, I digress.

My way around this is to typically hide part of my face in some way. Like the filigree mask above, or like this: 

Or like this:

So how then, was I to paint a self portrait that was a true representation of myself? I did what I felt most comfortable with. A partially hidden version of me. Again. Because I do think this is really how I am. I could go on and try to think of something really meaningful to say about why I paint myself this way. But I won't.

Because there is no real deep meaning to it. I just prefer to be in the background, instead of the spotlight and that alone says SO much about who I really am that there really isn't anything else to say.

Ten Things I've Learned From Painting A Self Portrait

'A-Punk, self portrait'

8" x 10" watercolor

1. You're not as bad looking as you thought you were.

2. It's nearly impossible to pose for your own self portrait with anything other than a big smile, a goofy expression, or something else that you hope looks introspective and mysterious, but is neither because really it's just you raising your head a little too much so you can see through your crooked glasses.

3. While strong sunlight from the side, is your favorite way to paint portraits of other people, on you it is just plain un-flattering. 

4. It's somewhat unsettling to look at yourself for so long. To really see all the good and bad parts of your face that are you. (I kind of feel like it's been ages since I actually looked at myself)

5. Just in case you ever start to take yourself too seriously, just paint another self portrait. That'll humble you.  It's HARD. :) 

6. Your hair looks good. Wild, but good.

7. A portrait, of anyone (including you), is about likeness it's true, but it's even more about expression. And truth. Who is this person really? It's your goal, as a portrait artist, to find that out and paint it.

8. You are now COMPLETELY sympathetic with all those people you have asked, or will ask to model for you. Poor unsuspecting souls.

9. You probably need to paint another one of these, with that strong un-flattering sunlight. Just for fun. You know how much you love sunlight!

10. You can never have too highly developed drawing skills. They are a MUST for a self portrait.

So, I decided that it was finally time I jumped in and tried a painting challenge from the Daily Paintworks site. I'd been thinking about doing a self portrait for a while and figured now was as good a time as any. I think you all should do one too. :):):)

What I'm listening to: A-Punk by Vampire Weekend