Perspective

"My Solace"

10x14 watercolor

     I was planning on posting about procrastination. I have a lot of major art shows coming up in the next two weeks and I wanted to have something fantastic for them, something that would set my work apart from the other thousand entries. And then yesterday I got news that a friend of my family passed away, leaving his young wife and three little kids behind. I wasn't particularly close to him, but my sister was best friends with his wife, and I as the annoying little sister spent a lot of time tagging along with them. She (his wife) always made me feel welcome and loved and became a friend of my own. My heart aches for her and her family. I couldn't sleep this morning, waking up way before my alarm was set to go off. All I could think of was them and what they must be feeling now, and how I wish I could help them. It's my belief that life doesn't end at death, that families can be together forever. But still there is such pain and loss now. Knowing that when you roll over at night searching for them they won't be there, that you'll never hear their cars squeaky brakes pulling into the driveway again. It's so easy to go through life thinking it will never change, that people will always be around for us to tell them we love them one more time. But that isn't true, things always change. So I've been hugging my family closer to me, trying to imprint in my brain everything I never want to forget about them, trying to live without regrets. Letting them know that they are my life, showing them that I am so greatful that they are mine, and that they are still here.